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Dr Josephine Shambare-Correspondent
I was enjoying my Saturday afternoon drive along the Harare-Bindura highway listening to a golden oldie “Hapana asina wake” by renowned musician Tanga wekwa Sando. When the song was a hit on the charts years back, I really enjoyed listening and dancing to it but had never gotten deeper into the lyrics. This time I had all the time to pay attention to it.
Moyo muti (Love is like a tree; it grows where it likes — [Shona proverb])
Hapana asina wake (Everyone has someone she/he loves)
Kana iwe une wako (Even yourself, you have yours)
Pamwe hauzvizive (Maybe you are not aware)
Coincidentally, as I switched over to another CD (compact disk), a song “Be my valentine” with similar meaning, started to play. I had been given the CD by an acapella group, Amazulu, that had performed during our dinner at Boma restaurant in Victoria Falls.
My friends and I had really enjoyed the music and gladly received the gift CDs as we left. The lyrics of the particular song were:
Kana usina wako hameno (You can’t blame anyone if you are not in love)
Ini ndinaye wangu (I have my love)
Nyaradzo ndiye wangu (Nyaradzo is my love)
After listening to the two songs, I thought for a while: “Really? Everyone has love? Maybe one won’t be aware? Could it be so?”
My mind raced to an interview I had conducted with Don (not his real name), an inmate for rape. Don was physically challenged and had a diminutive body. He was aged 60 and had never been married.
He was a Christian and of sober habits. He really looked forward to getting married at the time of the offence.
Don was eager to share his story after “his unfortunate predicament of being incarcerated”. He felt ‘normal’ people did not understand that even people with physical challenges had physiological needs to satisfy.
This was his story on how he ended up in jail:
“I’m in jail because I raped a young girl. What happened is that the mother of this girl was found with a lover in an extra-marital affair and she was divorced. Upon divorce, this woman abandoned the little girl and families in the community took turns to look after her.
“My sister-in-law, (the wife to my younger brother) is the one who finally decided to take custody of the young girl. She was nine years old and was in Grade Four.
“The Department for Social Welfare was responsible for her school fees and school uniform. I then took advantage of proximity and befriended the young girl. Ironically, no-one really bothered about me because they looked at me with pity and never thought I could hurt anyone.
“Since I really wanted to get married, I talked to this child and she agreed to become my wife. I love these young kids because they seem to be the only ones who love me, and not the older girls who ridicule me saying I am a dwarf.
“On the day of the offence, around nine o’clock in the morning, I asked the little girl to go with me to a deserted homestead and she agreed since she knew she was going to become my future wife. I went first and then she followed.
“When she arrived, I entered the toilet and she followed me into that same toilet. I do not want to lie, I then raped her.
“I had wanted to wait for her to grow older because she was still very young but I could not because time was not on my side. I was growing into an old man”.
On being asked whether he did not realise that the girl was too young to be married, Don replied: “Yes, I could see that the girl was too young but I was desperate to having a partner. I think the girl also wanted company because she was coming from a broken family”.
On being further quizzed why he was not going after girls of his age, he answered:
“Eeh eeh eeh, none of them love me because of my condition. Only this little girl loved me, so I wanted to marry her. I heard that she got married whilst I’m here in jail and if it’s true, I’m so pained. Haa ummm, life is unfair.
“People like us should be left to fall in love with whoever accepts our love proposals because we also want women. The problem is we can’t fall in love with those who have grown up because they will be looking down upon us.
“For me to get to this age without a wife is not my fault. It is my condition which has always made it difficult for me”.
It was quite baffling to note that Don did not see anything wrong with wanting to marry the young girl. Don’s account was a pointer to society that people like him needed assistance to interact with people who also loved and appreciated them.
This could be in the form of social clubs and activities. It was also disturbing to note that children who had their family ties severed for one reason or another, were subject to abuse.
Dr Josephine Shambare writes on social issues for entertainment and awareness, in her own capacity. Excerpts are taken from her unpublished autobiography; and PhD thesis: ‘The Enigma of Child Sexual Abuse in the Zimbabwean Context: Beyond Statistics’
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