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Dr Josephine Shambare
Correspondent
My sahwira (best friend) paid me a visit one early Saturday morning as she usually did. She knew that if she did not come by a certain time, she would not find me after having gone for other errands.
She knocked at the front door: “Eeh sahwira gogoi. Urimo here?” (“Knock, knock my friend. Are you in?”)
“Enter” I invited her in. “Nhasi wafambira dzei? Unoziva kuti handidi kupedzerwa nguva kana ndine zvakawanda zvandiri kuda kuita.” (“What brings you here today? You know I don’t want to be disturbed when I have a lot of work to do”).
She cleared her throat and said, “Aah vana Chihera munongoda zvokushanda-shanda nokuita ma serious ka. Zvokushandira musha here, uum ndozvamunogona. Mune nharo. Rega ndikutaurire nyaya yana Chihera”. (“Aah, you women of the eland totem are workaholics. You are dedicated in working and uplifting your families. You are a determined lot. Let me tell you a story about Chiheras”.) It was not a story as such but it turned out to be a joke about the Chiheras that I had heard several times:
“One day Chihera had a quarrel with her husband. She used to win all arguments but this time she lost and she got upset.
“She decided to visit her friend across the river; to cool down. Apparently there had been a downpour and the river had flooded.
“As Chihera tried to cross the river, she was ‘swept away’. The husband mobilised a rescue team and rushed to the river.
“One of the rescuers asked where exactly Chihera had tried to cross the river, and the husband pointed at the exact point. The rescuers decided to rush downstream to rescue Chihera. The husband was of a different view.
“You won’t find my Chihera there. Let’s go upstream, counter-current, and we will definitely find her up there.
“The rescuers argued that forces of nature did not work that way. Flowing water could only sweep her downstream.
“The husband insisted and explained that the way Chihera behaved was contrary to scientific reasoning. The team gave up and took the husband’s advice. They went up stream and indeed, found Chihera battling for survival, riding the tide upstream; and she was saved.
“Saka wazviona shamwari, vana Chihera vane nharo (So, you see my friend, the Chiheras are head-strong”.
I dismissed my friend’s joke and explained to her that totems were instruments for traditional and cultural self-policing practices, for instance, to discourage intra-family marriages that would lead to incest. Since I didn’t know much about totems, I referred her to books by renowned historians like Pathisa Nyathi and; the late Aeneas Chigwedere and Zvoma.
After the usual arguments sahwiras engage in, my friend had an interesting story to tell me:
“EEeh shamwari, ndinofarira chivindi chako. Ndokuti Chiheee ka. Nzira yaunotaura nayo rwendo rwohupenyu hwako, ndinodzidza chimwe chinhu. Ndinodaira vanhu vachadziidzawo chimwe chinhu panyaya yangu”. (“Eeh my friend, I admire your courage. That is typical of Chiheras. When you talk about the journey of your life, I learn something. I hope people will learn something from my story as well”).
Sahwira narrated her story:
“My friend, you told me the other time that you made a serious blunder at a function, long time ago, and I laughed at you quizzing you how you could do such a thing. It was folly for me to do that because I believe mine was the worst blunder.
“Long back, as a young lady who had just started working, I got an invite for dinner. It was a buffet and I was not familiar with such meal arrangements. I took a dinner plate and heaped food in it mostly meats that I thought to be pork because that is my favourite meat. On partaking the food, what I thought was pork, turned out to be something like boiled lime or lemon fruit; and it had a very bitter taste.
“Up to today, I don’t know what food it was. I tried to chew it up and swallow but it was unpalatable.
“I spat it out right onto the table at the same time suppressing the urge to throw up. All the diners watched; some in disgust and others in sympathy. I could not look anyone in the face.
“I just wished the floor could open and swallow me up. The lady of the house comforted me and gave me some advice:
“Dear lady, are you okay? Do not worry at all. Next time you go for a buffet, take a side plate and sample what you think you would like to eat.
“When you are satisfied, go back and serve yourself with what you are going to eat. That way, you won’t throw away food unnecessarily”.
Whist it was a piece of advice, it was also a caution that one was not supposed to waste food by taking too much that one would not be able to eat. Luckily, the advice was not for me only me but also targeted those who had ‘mini-mountains’ of food.
I could tell by the pitch of the hostess’s voice that went beyond me. My friend, I learnt my lesson well on that day. If it were today, I could have ‘googled’ before attending the event”.
I sympathised with my friend for something which happened decades ago: “Forget about it sahwira. In life’s journey, we learn a lot of things. Mumwe nomumwe ane zvake. (Everyone has got a story to tell)”.
Dr Josephine Shambare writes on social issues for entertainment and awareness, in her own personal capacity. Excerpts are taken from her unpublished autobiography; and PhD thesis: ‘The Enigma of Child Sexual Abuse in the Zimbabwean context: Beyond Statistics’
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