adminjokes, I have been in stitches. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t test-driven a single vehicle, but you know me, I always bring something different and refreshing, as long as it has some form of adrenalin to it.
So, this issue is a different one, let me share a few laughs which are auto related. Earlier I was thinking of having those filthy jokes too but then I decided no, I have to be sensitive to some readers.
My girlfriends are the ones who will have to suffer through the filthy but extremely funny ones. Also for those who don’t have a single funny bone in their being, I have put together a few tips on how to prepare your vehicle for maximum trade value in the event that you want to trade it in for a new or better vehicle.
I will start with the serious stuff then get down to the clucking laughs after helping someone have a better trade in vehicle. You maybe a proud owner of a hot SUV which is a 2010 model but because there is the 2011 or even 2012 model out, you may want to step it up a bit . . . these tips will help you save money.
Before you drive into a dealership with trading on your mind, do some minor damage control to get the best trade in value for your car. By paying attention to a few details that the appraisers will be looking at, you can get more for your trade-in without having to spend a lot to do it.
Remember that the most obvious is often the most overlooked when taking a vehicle for trade. If it’s dirty it can cost you. Take the time to do a thorough detailing of your car or truck’s interior and exterior. If the paint has dulled, use a buffing product and a good wax to restore some of its shine. First impressions matter to appraisers.
Consider the aesthetics of your vehicle when you sit in the driver’s seat, from the perspective of a new owner. Does it have an odour? Does it have bumper stickers on top of bumper stickers? Are the knobs and instrument panel in good working condition? These are simple fixes that can add a surprising value.
Repair any simple issues that could be problematic when your vehicle is in the hands of an appraiser. Burned headlights, light bulbs and blown fuses are quick to replace at a reasonable cost. If your tyres are bald or are obviously in need of replacing, consider it an investment to look for clearance sales on tyres.
Restore dents and dings with minimal effort at an affordable cost. Check with a body shop and ask for an appraisal. Base your decision on weighing the cost against the potential return at the time of trading. The same is true with windshield cracks.
Think like an appraiser before you go in to trade your vehicle. Know what your vehicle is worth before going in. It will be much easier to negotiate the trade in offer if you have done your homework and you’ve prepared your car or truck. Now for the stitchy stuff which will have you giggling.
- A not-too-bright but beautiful blonde was driving home one night when she was caught in a terrible storm. The hailstones were as big as golf balls, and her car was dented badly.
Next day at the auto shop, a repairman decided to have a little fun at her expense. “To fix the dents in the body”, he said, drive home, park the car, and when the tailpipe is cool, get down on your knees and blow really hard into the tailpipe, and the dents will pop out.
Later, a girlfriend of the blonde is driving by and sees her friend on her knees, blowing hard into the tailpipe. She asks what’s going on and is told the story. The girlfriend laughs. “Well, duhhh! You need to roll up the windows first, silly!”
- A couple of young tourists are pulled over by a highway patrolman. The officer walks up, asks for the driver’s licence and registration, and when he doesn’t get it quickly enough, whacks the driver in the head. “That’s for not having your driver’s licence ready,” he snaps. “I ain’t got all day.” After he issues the driver a ticket, the patrolman walks around to the other side of the car and whacks the passenger in the head.
“Owwww!” hollers the passenger. “What’d you do that for?”
“That’s to make your dream come true,” replied the cop. “I know that when you’d gotten a half-mile down the road, you were gonna say to your friend here, “Wish he’d tried that with me’!”
- A banker is proudly driving his brand-new Jaguar sedan around New York City. On reaching his destination, he parks the car at the curb and gets out on the traffic side. Just as he opens the door, a taxicab slams
into it, ripping the door right off its hinges. The cabby drives off as if nothing extraordinary has occurred.
A policeman who witnesses the whole thing walks up to the banker, who is now wailing loudly, “Ohhh myyy gaaawdd! Look what that idiot did to my new Jaaaaggguuuaar!
The cop looks at the banker, shakes his head, and says, “You bankers are so damn materialistic! Here you are whining about your expensive car, and you don’t even realise the cab tore off your arm!”
The banker looks down at where his arm used to be and begins to wail loudly, “Ohhhh myyy gaawd, my Rolllllleeeexxx is gone!”
- Someone at the auto repair shop locked the owner’s keys inside his car. While the locksmith was working on the driver’s-side door lock, the anxious owner walked up and tried the passenger’s-side door. It opened.
The locksmith looked up. “Yeah, I already got that one.”
They are just four but they sure are funny . . . I still can’t get over the guy in the Jag . . . my goodness. Anyway till next week when I review my first in four installments of a brand that’s going to take over the budget vehicle bracket . . . be safe
- lFact D. Jeke is a motoring enthusiast who has attended auto shows, rallies and has written for various publications in the region for the last decade. She can be contacted via email on [email protected]
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