Chronicle Editor
Being a parent can be challenging, especially when it comes to communicating with your child at different stages of their life.
Primary, secondary, and college-aged children all have different needs, and it’s important for parents to be aware of the unique challenges they face.
For example, many children learn about relationships and sex education from their peers.
It’s crucial for parents to have a say in their children’s lives during this time, and to make sure they’re getting the right information.
Parents with college or university students should cater for the child’s personal needs ,that goes with their generation .
Understand that time is changing, the way things were done in the 1980s and 1990s is no longer the same. Understand the child’s needs, and provide if necessary. This however should be in line with good principles.
Truly a child can’t go to college/ university with Chimbudzi (ndorindori) phone, kindly assist him/ her with a basic phone that has WhatsApp, and that can google.
As parents let’s try to provide adequate basic finances to the child as they prepare to go to college but not spoiling him or her.
College life has its own pressures chief among them, pressure from other peers, clothes, money for one or two items to use at college.
At times as parents, we are not able to cater for all that our children want, yet the child will be seeing fellow colleagues with a new iphone and clothes.
As a parent you might not avoid this but try , to provide so that the child won’t feel out of place. Poverty isn’t good for the child as she will be tempted to have blessers.
Parents should give children a room of communication where children will be able to express what they feel or what they are experiencing. Some parents don’t even talk to their children.
In some instances, it’s only the mother that freely talks to the children. Communicating with your child is of paramount importance, especially if both parents act likewise.
Don’t always criticize your children ,shout or gossip about them with other people.
Make the children feel loved. This boost self esteem for the child as well as confidence.
Find time and visit the child at college . It is important to know where your child is staying and who are his/her roommates or friends at college .
Some students are staying as couples, for the whole semester. Know the set up at college and not wait for the information that comes from the child only.
Know the modules that the child is doing that semester, and provide a laptop for research and assignments. Some students, after paying fees don’t attend a single lecture and lie when it’s time for results.
Monitor all this. Some students even misuse the college fees and lie to their parents. They cook all sorts of stories and convince you. As a parent be well informed about all this. The same applies to parents with children at boarding school. Attend the consultation days and monthly school visits.
It’s good if you attend these visits as both parents. Be a good team for your child. During holidays take your children out. You can take them to a restaurant, or any food outlets if funds permit. Do braai with your family and not always eat meals cooked at home.
Outings are necessary. Surprise your children on their birthdays, and when they do well at school or home. This makes the children feel loved.
Gone are the days when children fear their parents, when the father returns from work, children rush to their bedrooms. Have time with your children.
When you are home assist your children with homework, don’t leave this to the house girl . It’s your duty as parents to help your child. Some parents have time for their friends but not for their children.
Teach your children household chores e.g. washing, cooking , ironing, sweeping etc.
You won’t stay with your children for the rest of your life. Teach them life skills so that they won’t have challenges tomorrow. When you go to church, don’t leave the children behind watching cartoons. A child who grows up fearing God , will have a good foundation for tomorrow life challenges.
Dr Manners Msongelwa/ +263 771 019 392/ Author/Youth Coach/Teacher
Bongani Ndlovu