‘TOO OLD TO COVER!’…122-year-old uKhulu Banda finally gets funeral insurance

Maria Chiguvari

HE survived two World Wars, colonial rule, and three pandemics — but four funeral companies still said “No thanks, he’s too old!”

Just days after B-Metro broke the story of 122-year-old Khulu Anuloisa Banda being turned away by insurance firms in both Zimbabwe and South Africa, a miracle has arrived, Zororo-Phumulani has stepped in like a hero in a hearse!

The South Africa-based Zimbabwean funeral services company is giving the world’s oldest man (potentially!) a full VIP send-off plan for free!

Zororo-Phumulani has not only added Khulu Banda to its funeral cover client list, but has also pledged to buy him a wheelchair and deliver monthly groceries, starting this month-end.

“We’re not just about death. We celebrate life, too and this centenarian is living history!” said Tendai Mangot, the company’s executive marketing manager.

Khulu Banda, whose ID lists his birth as 12 December 1903 in Tukuyu (on the Malawi-Tanzania border), was coldly dismissed by four insurance firms. His daughter-in-law, Judith Maphosa, was told by policy companies that “he’s too old, he might die anytime.”

“Just like that. Cold and clinical,” she said. “They treated him like expired milk!”

Even though the man has outlived colonial Rhodesia, Hitler, and three versions of the iPhone, insurers still called him “high risk.”

Now, thanks to B-Metro’s story and the compassion of Zororo-Phumulani, Khulu Banda’s dignity has been restored.

“This is what ubuntu looks like,” said Mrs Maphosa. “Zororo-Phumulani saw him not as a risk, but as a legacy.”

Zororo-Phumulani says they’ll treat Khulu like the walking history book he is, with monthly groceries and medical support.

If officially verified, Khulu Banda may dethrone Jeanne Calment, the Frenchwoman who holds the record for oldest human ever at 122 years and 164 days.

The current oldest living person is 115-year-old Ethel Caterham of the UK, who attributes her long life to “never arguing with anyone.” Khulu Banda’s secret? “Just keep breathing,” he joked.

While insurance companies saw a ticking time bomb, Zororo-Phumulani saw a man who deserves to live — and die — with dignity.

And now, thanks to them, when Khulu Banda’s time finally comes, he’ll go out covered, honoured, and with groceries in the pantry.

From Rejected to Respected, Zororo-Phumulani just proved that compassion has no age limit.