Online Reporter
BRA BINZY LOVE FILES
When love bites… and sometimes finishes too quickly!
Eish mfowethu… love is a battlefield, kodwa some of you are entering that battlefield with no shield, no strategy and sometimes… no stamina! This week, the mailbag is on fire. We’ve got a brother clocking Olympic sprint times in the bedroom, a cougar chasing forbidden fruit, and a third case that will make you say “hawu, abantu bayahlanya!”
Let’s get into it.
ONE MINUTE MAN CRISIS… I’M FAST BUT FINISHED!”
Bra Binzy,
Please help me. I’m a 46-year-old man with a very embarrassing problem. My relationships don’t last because I don’t last in bed.
I work out regularly and have a great physique that attracts women all over. However, as soon as we have sex, the woman loses interest. I rarely last more than a minute and it is affecting my self-esteem.
I have tried herbal remedies and stuff like Congo Dust and a bit of viagra, without success. I’ve even tried prophets and traditional healers but nothing works. My mum is now old and keeps hinting she wants to “hold her grandchildren before she dies.” This puts a lot of pressure on me.
I went to see a shrink who told me it was all in my head and was being caused by anxiety to perform. I tried all the stuff he suggested but the problem only got worse. I’m now even afraid of being alone with a woman because in my mind I know it will always end in embarrassment for me.
Bra Binzy, you sound like you’ve been around quite a bit. You are now my only hope. Please help a brother out.
— Anonymous
Bra Binzy responds:
Eish mfowethu… you are not alone. You are just early, not finished in life!
First things first, stop running around chasing powders, prophets and panic. Your problem is not in your body, it’s in your head. Performance anxiety is real. The more you fear failing, the faster your body presses the “finish line” button.
You’ve turned bedroom matters into an exam. Pressure kills pleasure.
Secondly, you are focusing too much on the final whistle. Women are not only about “arrival time”, mfowethu.
Learn the whole game. Foreplay is not a side dish, it’s the main course. Slow things down. Explore. Tease. Build tension. If you rush like a kombi driver late for rank, of course things end in 60 seconds!
Also, stop measuring your manhood like it’s a stopwatch competition. Relax your mind. Breathe. Take breaks. Change pace. You’re allowed to pause, regroup and come back like a second half comeback.
And please… ditch shame. Confidence is sexier than stamina. A man who communicates, listens and adapts will always beat a silent sprinter.
Your mother wants grandchildren, yes, but you won’t produce them through panic. Fix the mindset first, the body will follow.
Right now you’re not broken… you’re just rushing greatness.
COUGAR CONFESSION… I
WANT MY INTERN!
Dear Bra Binzy,
I have fallen hopelessly in love with an intern at my workplace. He is 21-years-old and I’m 47, old enough to be his mother. My husband died 12 years ago and I have never been with anyone ever since.
A few years back, I was instrumental in the sacking of a guy who had an affair with an intern. Besides being against company policy, I felt it was highly immoral. The guy later married the intern and they seem very happy.
It is therefore very bad for me to fall for an intern. The boy is just cool, damn sexy and always smells nice. He knows how to dress. It is, however, maddening that he is always polite and professional. The way he is confident and always on top of every situation drives me wild. His smile melts everything inside me. I find myself fantasising about him ravishing me in the office. I’m so obsessed with this boy.
Help me Bra Binzy, I need him more than I have ever wanted anything in my life.
—Obsessed, South Africa
Bra Binzy responds:
Sisi, sisi, haa… life has given you a second spring and you want to water it with company scandal!
Let’s be honest. You are not in love… you are lonely and hungry. Twelve years is a long drought. Now the first fresh-looking young man walks in smelling like success and suddenly it’s fireworks.
But here’s the danger: you are about to burn your career for a crush.
You already know the rules. In fact, you enforced them! That means if you cross that line now, you are not just breaking policy, you are breaking your own integrity.
Also ask yourself… do you want him, or do you want the feeling he gives you? Youth, attention, excitement… those things can confuse the heart.
And let’s not ignore power dynamics. You are older, more experienced, possibly in a position of influence. That situation can go wrong very fast, even if it starts “innocently”.
Bra Binzy is not saying you must live like a nun forever. Hawu no! Go out, date, explore, rediscover yourself. But don’t fish in the company pond where you once banned fishing.
Right now, you don’t need that intern… you need a life outside the office.
BRA BINZY’S FINAL WORD
Yoh… love is not for the faint-hearted. From one-minute marathons to office crush madness, it is clear… the heart has no chill!
But listen, my people: don’t let desperation, pressure or loneliness push you into decisions that will cost you your peace.
Until next week, keep your heart smart, your mind sharp… and your situations less dramatic!
Want Bra Binzy to fix your messy umjolo situation?
ν Email: [email protected]
Or WhatsApp us on 0776201133 with the hashtag #DearBraBinzy
