Online Reporter
Heartbreak, guilt and confusion take centre stage this week. One brother wants revenge after discovering he was played by a woman and her fake “brother.” Another is living in fear after a risky fling left her with a haunting STI. The third is caught in a tangled mess after getting his cousin pregnant. Bra Binzy dishes out the hard truths about anger, honesty and facing your mess like a grown-up.
Betrayed and so mad
Bra Binzy
I want to commit murder, please help me. I was madly in love with this chick for three years. During that time, I paid rent for her at a full house in Bulawayo where she lived with her younger brother. I even paid her school fees at varsity. At times, she would tell me that her evil landlord had increased rent and was threatening to throw her out. We finally broke up when I caught her in a compromising position with a lecturer. The issue is, she recently got married and I discovered that her new hubby is the so-called younger brother that I used to give money to and pamper. Worse still, I just learnt that the house I was paying rent for, is her family’s house. Help Bra Binzy, I’m so mad.
Noel, Bulawayo.
Bra Binzy responds:
Ah mfowethu, take a deep breath and sit down before you do something stupid. I know your blood is boiling, but anger and heartbreak are a bad combo. You were played like a drum at a wedding, and I feel your pain. You turned into a walking ATM for a woman who knew exactly what she was doing. But killing someone is not the move, my guy. That will only give her more power over you. Imagine sitting in prison while she enjoys life with that fake “brother.”
Take this as a painful life lesson. Love should never cost your peace, your pockets and your pride all at once. You were funding a movie, and sadly, you were not the main actor. From now on, invest in yourself, not people who treat you like a wallet with legs. Work on healing, gym, hustle and upgrade your life. When she sees you shining, that will burn her more than any revenge. Remember, peace is the ultimate revenge. You win by walking away with your dignity intact.
Have no guts to tell my hubby that I cheated
Dear Bra Binzy
cheated on my husband recently with my gym instructor and got a nasty STI. I got it treated but now I have recurring thrush. I am afraid to open up to my husband or go for an HIV Test. What if I got syphilis and HIV? I can’t even have sex with my husband because I’m terrified I might infect him and he will then find out I cheated. Help me Bra Binzy, I don’t know what to do.
Anonymous, Harare
Bra Binzy responds:
Sis, you are sitting on a ticking time bomb. Fear will not save you, neither will pretending nothing happened. The first thing you need to do is get tested. Go to a clinic quietly, get the full panel done and face the truth. It’s better to know and deal with it than to sit there guessing and worrying yourself sick. Thrush might just be stress or yeast imbalance, but it could also be your body warning you that something is off.
About your husband, I won’t lie, confessing might break his heart, but keeping quiet might destroy both of you. What if he gets infected too? You can’t build peace on top of a lie. It will crush you later. Own your mistake, be honest, and take whatever comes your way. You cheated, yes, but life doesn’t end there. Learn from it. Let it humble you and make you wiser. Next time, when that gym instructor starts flexing his six-pack, just remember how expensive that thrill was. Play smart, not emotional.
If my girlfriend finds out, I’m a dead man
Bra Binzy.
ne day some friends got me drunk and I slept with my cousin. Now she is pregnant. I do not want to have a child with her. She is refusing an abortion because she says she had a dream that she would die during the procedure. What should I do? My girlfriend doesn’t know about this and he will kill me.
Anonymous
Bra Binzy responds:
Eish my guy, this one is tangled like earphones in a pocket. You messed up, big time. But crying over it won’t help now. What’s done is done. That child didn’t ask to be born, so the decent thing to do is step up and take responsibility. Talk to your cousin and her family, find a plan to take care of the baby if she keeps it. Don’t pressure her for an abortion if she is scared. Forcing her will only make things worse.
Now, about your girlfriend, this is where honesty becomes your test. If she truly loves you, she might not understand right away, but hiding it will only make the revelation more explosive when the truth comes out. Tell her before the streets do. Everyone makes mistakes, but how you handle yours defines the kind of person you are.
Also, stop drinking until you lose control. Alcohol doesn’t mix well with guilt and regret. From now on, be responsible for your space and your choices. Life is messy, but every mess has a mop. Clean up, take care of that child if it comes, and use this as your turning point.
Want Bra Binzy to help solve your messy umjolo saga?
ν Email: [email protected] or WhatsApp us on 0776201133 with the hashtag #DearBraBinzy.
