Online Reporter
Rutendo Ajida
A nine-year-old girl often lies awake at night listening for raised voices from the next room.
Whenever arguments erupt between her parents, fear grips her.
Sometimes she curls up beside her younger sister for comfort.
At school, she struggles to concentrate, distracted by worries about what may be happening at home while she is away.
Her story mirrors the reality faced by countless children living in households affected by domestic violence.
While public attention rightly focuses on adult victims, the experiences of children who witness abuse often remain hidden.
Yet many carry emotional and psychological scars that can shape their wellbeing, relationships and educational outcomes for years.
Research I conducted in Mbare, Harare, explored the social and emotional experiences of learners aged between nine and 12 living in homes affected by domestic violence.
Through interviews with children, social workers and school counsellors, the study revealed how violence within the home permeates nearly every aspect of a child’s life.
Living in constant fear
One of the most striking findings was the pervasive sense of fear experienced by children exposed to domestic violence.
Many described living in a state of constant anxiety, uncertain about when the next argument or violent incident might occur.
Raised voices, heated exchanges and signs of conflict often triggered feelings of panic and insecurity.
Some children reported waking repeatedly during the night or struggling to sleep altogether.
Others spent their school days worrying about the safety of family members left at home.
A social worker who participated in the study noted that children living in violent environments often remain on high alert, constantly anticipating further conflict.
Such prolonged exposure to fear can have serious consequences for mental health, making it difficult for children to feel secure, relax or participate confidently in everyday activities.
More than just sadness
Fear was only one dimension of the emotional burden children carried.
Many spoke of persistent sadness, loneliness and anxiety.
Several reported losing interest in activities they once enjoyed, while others withdrew from friends and social interactions.
The emotional strain frequently manifested in physical symptoms, including headaches, stomach aches, fatigue and difficulty concentrating.
One learner explained that after witnessing conflict at home, focusing on classroom lessons became almost impossible.
Children also faced complex emotional dilemmas.
Many expressed deep affection for both parents while simultaneously fearing the parent responsible for the violence.
This emotional contradiction often left them confused and unable to fully understand or communicate their feelings.
The impact of domestic violence does not end at the front door.
Schools often become places where the consequences are most visible.
Teachers and counsellors involved in the research observed that affected children frequently appeared distracted, withdrawn or unusually tired during lessons.
Some experienced declining academic performance, while others struggled to complete homework or participate meaningfully in class discussions.
In many cases, emotional distress undermined their ability to learn and engage with school life.
Domestic violence is, therefore, not only a family issue but also an educational challenge.
Children burdened by fear and anxiety cannot be expected to perform at their full potential in the classroom.
The research also highlighted the social difficulties faced by children living in violent households.
Feelings of shame and embarrassment often prevented them from forming close friendships. Some worried that classmates would discover what was happening at home and judge them.
Others avoided inviting friends to their homes for fear they might witness family conflict.
The result was often loneliness and social isolation. Over time, these experiences can erode self-esteem and hinder the development of healthy interpersonal relationships.
Children do not all respond to domestic violence in the same way.
While some become withdrawn and quiet, others externalise their distress through anger and aggression.
Several participants reported frequent arguments with classmates, involvement in fights and behavioural problems at school.
According to social workers interviewed for the study, children who regularly witness violence may begin to perceive aggression as a normal means of resolving conflict.
As a result, behaviours often dismissed as simple misconduct may in fact be manifestations of deeper emotional trauma and unmet psychological needs.
Finding ways to cope
Despite the challenges they face, many children demonstrate remarkable resilience.
Some found comfort in trusted adults such as teachers, counsellors, relatives, social workers and community leaders.
Others turned to prayer, sport, music, reading, drawing or spending time with supportive friends.
These coping mechanisms helped children manage stress and maintain hope.
However, not all strategies were constructive.
Some children withdrew socially or suppressed their emotions, responses that may contribute to longer-term psychological difficulties if adequate support is not available.
A key lesson emerging from the research is the critical role of supportive relationships. Children who had access to caring adults and nurturing school environments appeared better equipped to cope with the challenges associated with domestic violence.
Yet many participants were unaware of available support services or felt unable to seek help because of stigma, fear or concerns about family privacy.
Zimbabwe has made significant strides in strengthening child protection systems.
However, gaps remain, particularly in access to child-friendly mental health services in economically disadvantaged communities. Addressing these challenges requires greater collaboration between schools, families, community organisations, social workers, religious institutions and government agencies to ensure vulnerable children receive timely and appropriate support.
The findings underscore an important but often overlooked reality: Children who witness domestic violence are victims in their own right. Their suffering may not always be visible, but its consequences can be profound and enduring.
Fear, anxiety, sadness, social isolation, behavioural difficulties and poor educational outcomes are among the burdens many carry in silence.
Schools should be equipped with trained counsellors capable of identifying signs of distress and providing appropriate interventions.
Communities must strengthen programmes that promote emotional healing, resilience and child protection.
Policymakers should continue investing in mental health and social welfare services tailored to the needs of children affected by violence.
Above all, society must listen to children’s voices.
Domestic violence leaves wounds that are often invisible but deeply felt.
By recognising the experiences of affected children and responding with compassion, understanding and practical support, communities can help transform experiences of fear and trauma into pathways towards healing, resilience and hope.
Rutendo Ajida studied child development and psychology at the University of Zimbabwe.
