Unlocking potential in women

the agenda of women economic empowerment forward. What I also liked about the meeting was the boldness and the assertiveness displayed by some women who have gone into male dominated fields.
I wondered what is it that these women have that made them venture into these areas. Was it the education, technical know-how or confidence? I really respected these women for moving on against all odds.
What surprised me was that some of the women were ordinary like me and you. I wished that this type of assertive character would take root in all women and change the equality between genders and the women empowerment landscape.
What, however, came through from the discussions was a lot still needs to be done to bring more women into the mainstream economy. Presenters highlighted a number of factors hindering meaningful participation of women in the economy. The challenges that were highlighted are the usual ones, lack of funds, gender discrimination and inadequate or inappropriate equipment.
While these are genuine concerns and real challenges I want to believe that there are other factors that appear trivial but critical. The things that come to mind are human and cultural factors.
These define and govern the way people, especially women, respond to and perceive opportunities. I am tempted to talk about the biblical Deborah who grabbed the opportunity to lead men into battle because Barak was hesitant to go alone. She was so clear that she declared that the victory will be unto a woman.
I think there is need to bring the woman to a level where she can confidently grab opportunities available and run with them. There is need to address cultural factors that determine what a woman can do or not do.
Also address perceptions that can be so disempowering to the woman such that she starts whatever she is doing from a defeated position.
I know that some of these cultural factors mean well but have a negative impact on the assertiveness of a woman. Our society tends to be very protective to the girl child and the woman because of her vulnerability. Good as it is, it can have negative impact.
I grew up in a family of boys. We had a sports bicycle at home, which I never learnt to ride because my brothers feared that I would hurt myself. They would say “no sister, this one is not good for you.” Surprisingly, the boys who were younger than me were left to practise riding the bike. After several attempts I finally gave up trying.
Think of the many women who are told many times what they cannot do, have their limits determined for them and also told that they are not good enough.
Women have been socialised to let others take the first pick. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, but how can this woman learn to balance the act in today’s world?
At this conference that I attended some men addressed women as sisters. I really had no problem with that as I assumed by calling us sisters men automatically became our brothers. My perspective changed when one lady remarked that men would perceive women better if they see them as mothers. Like most women in the room I was impressed and applauded this lady for this observation.
Yes, I thought to myself, a mother in our cultural context commands a lot of respect than a sister. So I assumed that if men see all women as mothers then they will not shove them in queues. They would want them to get the best of most things. This makes a lot of sense considering the sacrifice that women do to raise children.
Sisters in the traditional context usually consider the boy child as father (baba) and therefore have no say.
As I left the conference venue I became pre-occupied with how best women and men should relate with a view to create space for women across sectors.
What is the implication of men perceiving women as sisters or mothers?
I have learnt that defining relationships determines the way one behaves towards the other. It can be disempowering to someone in a position of authority when he/she is referred to as muroora (sister in law), mwanangu (my child) or mukuwasha (son-in-law). This means the dynamics of the relationship changes as one has to behave in the way expected in such a relationship. Similarly, seeing women as mothers also affects the way they respond to available political, social and economic opportunities.
In a way it triggers motherly instincts in women, not that there is anything wrong with that.
In the traditional context a mother is a very special person who is the pillar of the home (musha mukadzi).
Her life revolves around the home and very often taken for granted. Society expects her to sacrifice for her children and family. This means that a mother does not really compete with her children, she lets them have the cake while she sleeps on an empty stomach.
In my view the mother can command influence. I, however, think that the mother is considered more powerful beyond the grave. She is seen for what she can do in her other life. I think dear reader, you have heard people say “amai havanzwaro unoita ngozi or unotanda botso.”
This means there will be untold suffering due to the mother’s avenging spirit.
A woman has great potential, endurance and determination but has been cowered by cultural and other factors to settle for the second best. In my view, there is a lot of work that needs to be done to build esteem and boost confidence of the woman.