adminThere is a friend that I made sure to observe during the festive season because I needed a case study for my story.
On most mornings in December he had a feeling that he described as:
“On most days I woke up a little drunk because of the previous night’s binge. My head would be heavy I used to think red wine, cheap beer, or cheep clear alcohol causes this but this time around I had money and drank expensive liquor. I guess any type of alcohol in mass consumption can cause a headache.
“At times my stomach gave me problems. This could even result in throwing up. And in fact, sometimes it is better to throw up than try to let your body digest all of that alcohol. Regardless, drinking too much can definitely result in a stomach ache,” he said.
If you wake up feeling like that don’t worry, you are most likely just going through what we fondly refer to as drinker’s remorse. Basically, it works like this. You had much fun the night before that you peaked out, and like after all peaks, next comes the valley. Drinker’s remorse is that valley. It’s the time when you feel bad about all the money you spent, the stupid decisions you made, and the person you hooked up with (beauty lies in the eyes of the beer holder, remember!). But don’t worry this will pass and you will live to enjoy another day and the same feeling will come around. That is the cycle.
The drinking cycle is not any different to being broke in January. January is the babalaz period. It is the anti-climax of the good life you led in December. All those keep the change habits, for some reason more small houses at your disposal because you could afford to keep them around with the short lived riches are a thing of the past. Now you ignore calls. Especially that one from the guy you forgot to clear iskwelede sakhe in December.
Walking at night is now safe. You can pass through any bush in Pumula South or even walk around freely in areas such as Mzilikazi because the pickpockets know that most of us don’t even have a cent to save our lives. The only way for the night riders to make money is through house breaking instead of waylaying people. If you thought thieves were dumb there you have it.
People you can bet have money right now are the ladies of the night. Yes, the women that MDC-T legislator Thabitha Khumalo gives the thumbs up to. You see these women were busy making money in
December, robbing clients, overcharging them and drinking off them.
In January, business is at its lowest and that is when they take their deserved annual rest. It comes as no surprise to find a general manager’s son failing to pay school fees in time dodging the bursar until the calendar clocks 20 something January. Whereas the lady of the night’s son would pay right on time (the general manager could be a client who knows?) and a new uniform and shoes to top it up as well as an unlikely characteristic pocket money.
Another group of people who are loaded this time around are the mashonisas. If you are suburban let me put it like this: MONEY LENDERS. Their interests are so high that you will pay off the interests monthly for the rest of the year. That is how some people lose the plot only to breathe in December for just a month. These days these guys are merciless before you borrow money you have to pledge something that they could take in the event that you fail to pay up.
Just yesterday I was at an office of a friend who is a mashonisa. I needed a soft loan. Just a mere $20 to buy lunch and I would pay him after hours. The guy would not budge he tried to lure me to get more money and in fact get it from his company and not his pocket.
“You need more money get at least a $100 and pay after a month. The interest is not that bad you are my friend,” the guy just wanted to pimp me and I declined.
He went on to show me files of people who had borrowed money; some had even offered their stoves, cars, TVs and title deeds as surety. All of them approached him this year. It is the January bug I tell you.
What we call the January disease is not new. It has always been there every year and we never learn. I remember classic examples (not to be disrespectful).
In 1997 November and December being a War Veteran’s child was cool. You could get girls by saying your mom or dad was a War Vet because of the hefty $50 000 alias 50kg. There are some war vets and family who painted the country red in those two months like it was forever. On top of that they spent most of it because they had been told that from January 1998 they would get monthly 2kg ($2 000 which was more than what most civil servants earned) and free education for their children so school fees would not be a bother.
However, end of January 1998 they did not get the money. It was to start flowing in February. January was hell for some of those guys who had finished their money. I am told there were similar cases in the early 80s when the demobilisation funds were paid out to the vets. Don’t read this the wrong way all I am talking about is financial discipline which I also don’t have.
If you ask me there is nothing like January disease. It is the December disease and what you are feeling right now is the babalaz or drawback syndrome. If only days were faster in January then pay day would be next week.
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