adminBALANCING your relationship with your friendships can sometimes be challenging. We know there is a friendship code in place for most friendships, but how does it apply to your relationship?
What codes can be violated when it comes to your friend overstepping their boundaries with your partner? According to relationship counsellor Lethabo Ntsasa the following are a no, no!
Telling your partner your best friend’s secrets
Ntsasa says it depends on the gravity of the secret.
“We all have a tendency to want to share interesting stories with our partners at the end of a hard day, and that can sometimes include stuff that our friends told us. Harmless gossip with your partner is no big deal. That said, be careful of telling your partner something that your friend told you in utmost confidence. This can include their HIV status, their family matters or anything that can compromise your friend’s confidence. You may trust your partner, but do you want to risk him accidentally spilling the beans? And what happens when you break up?
A friend confiding in your partner
The line needs to be drawn even if your partner and your friend may be close, but ultimately, that cannot be confused for friendship. You cannot call a friend’s partner asking for advice, unless it is their professional opinion you are after, anything else is inappropriate.
Asking your friend’s partner for money
A few people are guilty of this sin, but it does constitute breaking the friendship code. If you are in a tight corner and need help, rather ask your friend, and if they cannot assist, let it be up to them to ask their partner for help. Asking their partner directly, or even asking your friend to ask their partner is not appropriate.
Going out with your friend’s partner in their absence, even if you had plans with your friend and they could not make it, do not substitute them with their partner. The same applies to coming over, and staying, when your friend is not home.
Telling their partner about your friend’s past
Constantly hinting about your friend’s unsavoury past in front of their partner is a no-no. Do not go there. What your friend did with their previous partner, be it having had an abortion or dating a married man, should stay between friends. — Sowetan.co.za
Online Reporter