adminDr Mazvita Machinga
EVERYONE has problems in their life. I spent most of my life journeying with people struggling with various psychological and emotional problems. The sad thing is that some of these problems will end up causing physical pain and sometimes even loss of life. Problems are inevitable part of life. Problems could be spiritual, psychological, emotional, physical or social. They could be personal, interpersonal, family, church or work related. Whatever the color or shape your problems may be having, there is always a healthier or an unhealthier way of addressing problems.
For the most part, people are able to solve their problems without much difficulty at all. People either come up with a quick solution or use an approach that worked in the past. But for some, problems maybe so overwhelming and devastating to such an extent that people are so distressed. The question, what can I do if I have a problem, has no one answer to it. Just as many people, cultures, ethnicities, prejudices there are, we also have many ways of addressing problems in life. If you get easily paralyzed and depressed by the problems in your life, take time to read this article.
This article will sensitize you of four necessary steps that may be helpful if you are to work your way out of your problem. In the next article, I will explain the remaining steps. It is important to remember that not solving a problem can lead to more anxiety than trying to solve it. No matter how anxious you feel, problems need to be addressed. The following are some guidelines that can help you find the best solution to your problem.
1. Acknowledge that you have a problem.
The first important thing when you encounter a problem is to realize and acknowledge that you have a problem. Because problems can cause anxiety, many people will try to avoid, ignore, or procrastinate when dealing with difficult issues in their lives. It is not helpful at all to pretend as if there is no problem. Pretending that there is no problem does not always mean the problem goes away. Avoiding your problems usually causes the problems to come back and a small problem can even become a big problem over time!
2. Make use of your feelings and never lose your value as a person
As a psychotherapist, I have always encouraged people to make use of their feelings to recognize a problematic situation early. I have noticed that people make the mistake of thinking that their negative emotions are THE problem. This is false! For example, you may think, “the problem is that I am always stressed at work” But actually, it is more accurate to say that I have difficulties with my workmate, or I have difficult in coping with a huge workload. When you have a problem, it is important to use your negative emotions to guide you. When a problem causes you anxiety, stressed, frustrated, or annoyed in a particular situation, admit that and then be ready to deal with it. This can be done with the guidance of professional helpers or other people you trust if you are overwhelmed. Handle your feelings in a constructive manner.
3. Identify and name the problem
After realizing that you have a problem, try to identify the problem that is making you feel anxious, stressed, frustrated or disappointed. Remember that before trying to solve a problem, you first need to define it, name the problem. What is the problem? Who is involved in the problem? Why is there a problem? In every problem that arises in your life ask yourself what lessons am I getting and what should I do differently.
4. Have various options( solutions) on the table
The next thing is that before you even come up with the solution, have a variety of options on the table. Answer the question, how can the problem be solved what options do I have? Examine each of the options’ advantages or disadvantages. If you struggle with anxiety and you find that actually picking the best option is problematic, then seek professional help.
The next question for you may be having is how will I pick the right option? Do not miss the next issue of Manica Post for continuation of this article. Remember as Denis Waitley, says, “Don’t pre-occupy yourself too much on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next.
Remember the lessons learnt. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding way forward than going backward or staying stuck.”
Dr Mazvita Machinga Ph.D. is a qualified Psychotherapist in Mutare who offers professional counseling and psychotherapy. For more information on psychotherapy contact [email protected], or call 0771 754 519.
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