What’s Macheso’s secret?

proved that he is a real MACHO man!
He can bed his daughter’s friend and marry her; move on to the maid younger than his daughter, and marry her again and not incur the wrath of the first and second wives, and actually have both women eating out of his hands.
Many men I am sure would want to know his secret. Many would, no doubt, want to get the unofficial wives out there into the official family circle.
The story is the talk of town – yours truly does not drink – but is sure it’s the talk in the drinking places as well, with all kinds of speculation, anger, and admiration, and even envy swirling.
One of the most interesting talking points is the role of the first wife, Nyadzisai, also known as Mai Sharon, in the third wife saga.
Remember a lot of people were surprised at the casual if not stoical attitude she presented to the world when Macheso took Tafadzwa?
Now she has even bettered that, having been one part of that delegation to Murehwa’s Gatsi Village to pay lobola for the new bride, 23-year-old Adeline Hunidzarira.
And, boy, did we hear Nyadzisai purring about how she had taken Adeline as a maid, and Macheso met his new flame “and their love blossomed”, etc, etc?
To which, according to H-Metro, Macheso nodded in agreement and said he could not put it across any better than Nyadzisai herself.
What’s going on in that household? What’s Macheso’s secret?
Many of our liberal kind would have expected Nyadzisai to narrate that as an ordeal, but hey, Nyadzisai is a different kettle of fish.
Polygamy
Macheso’s ever-growing family is but a good lesson in polygamy, which we thought, was a preserve of the Marange Apostolic sect or some such “backward” traditions.
And to those who take offence at Macheso he shouldn’t have gone for the variety, well in a sense. Is a maid not a woman? Is it morally right?
Anyway did he commit a crime?
The answer is a big “No” as even under the laws of the land, he cannot be said to be in breach of any law. He is even entitled to that, some might argue.
And given the attitude of the Queen Mother Nyadzisai, it is even desirable to have such a happy, big family: remember that “surprise” birthday bash that was thrown for Nyadzisai by Tafadzwa?
Macheso himself says “ndavana Chihera vangu ava, vasikana vangu ava!” (They are my girls!)
Many people have been saying that Macheso is right for not being secretive about his love interests and goes the formal way.
Some people have actually challenged, Jesus-style, anyone who can cast the first stone at Macheso. No intention to offend Christians.
What, with the “small houses” sagas!
Still others have pointed out that such practices will not help him in this era of HIV and Aids.
Macheso the role model
Much of the anger that has been directed at Macheso, even at the Tafadzwa affair, stems from the fact that Macheso, being a celebrity, is a “role model”.
Given his often-moralistic and didactic messages, although I am not sure there is not one song that denounces polygamy, people expect him to be “upright”.
That is, for some who think that polygamy is not.
So people would take for granted that he would heed such moral truisms as “zingizi gonyera pamwe maruva enyika haaperi”, which counsels against the wandering eye.
But then, who made Macheso a role model, but ourselves?
Surely, he did not ask, or perhaps deserved to be looked up to, this boy from the farm compounds in Shamva, who made the guitar give him a livelihood?
Our disappointment could surely be a result of our own want of authorities, which results in us looking up to “vana vakakura tichiona”, giving them our little monies in the process?
Again isn’t he being a role model by ensuring that all his affairs are known, and formalising the unions? Polygamy, after all, is not a crime.
Conspiracy theories
Back to Macheso’s family, there are some conspiracy theories that are flying freely.
We hear that Nyadzisai could easily have plotted the downfall of Tafadzwa who took her man in the first instance. That theory suggests that the idea was to spite Tafadzwa. The other theory says, Nyadzisai has given up ever controlling her husband and has to dance along with the King. Is that not the Queen’s style. A well groomed Queen does not expose her husband in public.
The village soothsayer
Back to the village yonder in the land of milk, honey and dust, the soothsayer, that ageless fountain of wisdom, is not shocked by Macheso’s polygamy for there are so many polygamous marriages that flourish, whether from apostolic faith sects or from traditionalists. In Mutota area, for instance, there are two gurus, one with 15 and another with 21.
The soothsayer says there are many men in the cities who have more than three but that those are unofficial, they are not known by the queen.
Many urban, rich men, says the soothsayer, actually envy Macheso’s ability to handle his women for they are in more precarious situations in which they cannot declare their other women lest they invite the wrath of their first wives.
The soothsayer contends that each man will be caught when his time is up.
“Many men will sleep on the floor in their matrimonial homes, once their other affairs are caught,” says the soothsayer. The soothsayer says he will soon be throwing his bones to foretell if Macheso has ended on wife number three or not.
Meanwhile we await another hit song, ‘‘Adeline nyarara . . . Ade . . . Ade . . .!”
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