Online Reporter
Sunday Sport with Bra Shakes
For 90 minutes today, people will stop arguing about politics or the economy.
So, tell me: What’s the biggest football match in Zimbabwe?
Before you say “CAPS vs DeMbare”, just know you have already lost this argument.
You see, no matter what you think, no matter what you tweet and no matter who is top of the log, Highlanders vs Dynamos will always be the only game in town, any day.
It is the mother of all fixtures.
Quite frankly, everything else is just high-sounding nothing.
Never mind El Clasico, Manchester Derby or Derby della Madonnina, for a Zimbabwean, nothing comes close to the tension, noise and unpredictable chaos that Bosso vs DeMbare always brings to the streets of Bulawayo or Harare.
It is more than football; it is a cultural showdown dressed in football shirts.
It is all in there, marinated in emotion and sprinkled with a little madness.
Even when both teams are struggling, this match still sells out and keeps kombis buzzing.
A Highlanders and Dynamos match is not just about points; it is about pride and bragging rights.
Lose this one and even your dog stops respecting you.
beIN Sports once ranked Bosso vs DeMbare among Africa’s top 10 rivalries; right there with Egypt’s Al Ahly vs Zamalek, South Africa’s Kaizer Chiefs vs Pirates and Morocco’s Wydad vs Raja.
You cannot buy your way into that list; you earn it through decades of blood, sweat and heartbreak.
And don’t think academics missed this.
Dr Lyton Ncube, one of Zimbabwe’s sharpest football minds, spent two years studying this rivalry for his PhD.
He followed fans across the country, listened to their songs, watched their rituals and unpacked what fuels this madness.
His conclusion?
This derby is not just football; its identity, emotion and sociology tangled together in one long 90-minute sermon.
So, if this is not the biggest football match in Zimbabwe, then tell me what is.
No doubt, Barbourfields will turn into a pressure cooker when these two collide again today.
Only this time, there is a plot twist that could make even a telenovela script writer green with envy.
Kelvin Kaindu, the man who once built Highlanders, is returning as the coach of Dynamos.
Let that sink in.
The man, who used to lead Bosso out of the tunnel, will now emerge from the tunnel wearing blue.
For Kaindu, it is a reunion, a reckoning and maybe a redemption story.
While he might know every chant, every whistle and every unpredictable bounce of the ball, he also knows how unforgiving that crowd can be.
If Bosso lose to a team coached by their former golden boy, the boos will surely echo from Mzilikazi to Makokoba.
Since taking over DeMbare, Kaindu has steadied the ship.
But the side has not beaten Bosso in open play since 2017.
And across the dugout stands Pieter de Jongh, a man who looks like he was built in a football lab — confident, loud and allergic to excuses.
“Where he (Kaindu) coached before doesn’t matter,” De Jongh said.
“I coached here in 2019, too. It’s not about me or him. It’s about Highlanders and Dynamos — two big teams; very important for Zimbabwean football.”
Translation: “Don’t make this about your ex, bro. We have all moved on.”
And yet, if there is one thing De Jongh has never learned, it is how to tone it down.
His unfiltered passion was on full display a few weeks ago during the Chibuku Super Cup clash between Highlanders and Scottland at Barbourfields.
After his side had a late goal disallowed, the Dutchman looked ready to explode, then Andrew Mbeba produced a thunderous solo equaliser that sent him into orbit.
De Jongh sprinted towards the Scottland bench, pumping his fists and, in a rather curious gesture, grabbed his crotch as if to say justice served.
It was pure theatre.
He also could not resist a jab at the referees.
“We need fair play. What I saw in the Dynamos-Ngezi match wasn’t fair. On Sunday, we need a good referee for both sides. This is important for football in Zimbabwe.”
That is classic De Jongh for you — half drama, half diplomacy and all entertainment.
And then there are players who know exactly what this means.
Highlanders’ captain Ariel Sibanda is already talking about fighting for the badge.
Ariel has been around long enough to know that games like this are won as much in the head as in the boots.
That is noble, Jalai, but you know how it goes.
The air in BF gets heavy when these two line up.
The songs are louder. The tackles are harder. Even the referees start sweating early.
Dynamos have not lost in nine league matches, and Kaindu’s men believe this is their moment.
But Bosso, unpredictable and proud, love nothing more than ruining Harare’s weekends.
Here is the truth: This match does not need hype.
It is self-sustaining.
It feeds on history, tension and the unspoken rule that you just don’t lose this one.
And maybe that is the beauty of it.
For 90 minutes, Zimbabwe stops arguing about politics or the economy.
The only thing that matters is whether Bosso or DeMbare walks away smiling.
That’s why this fixture remains undefeated.
It is our El Clasico, our national therapy session and sometimes our collective headache.
Because in Zimbabwean football, you can change coaches, sponsors and even stadiums but you cannot change what Bosso vs DeMbare means to this country.
Until next time.
Peace!
Yours truly,
Bra Shakes
