When death strikes . . .

launch of a tiger tournament in Kariba.
However, the sombre atmosphere that engulfed this final resting place and the dark cloud that hung over it suggested otherwise.
Multi-racial fishermen in their full regalia turned up to bid farewell to an illustrious bass fisherman.
One could not help notice top-of-the-range boats, fishing equipment and cars at the graveyard. In his graveside eulogy, a colleague Alan said: “Today I thought I would wake up and hear that the news about Jonah’s death was just a dream but unfortunately, it is the sad reality. Our torch-bearer is gone . . . the gap that Jonah left will be difficult to fill . . .
“At times we do not realise the importance of a good companion until we have lost them . . . I am disappointed to note that despite Ben’s wealth of knowledge in funeral prepayment schemes (funeral assurance), he never bothered to share the knowledge with his friends. May be he was too intimidated by Jonah’s style, that he substituted constructive advice with flattery or praise,’’ he said.
This could have been in reference to the fact that I had not imparted my knowledge to him about funeral service and as a result most fishermen were compelled to put their money together in order to afford a decent send-off to the countryman. My mind flashed back to the good times we had with him (Jonah).
Jonah had style. Everything about him was classical. He caught bass with the aplomb of a veteran. He was my source of inspiration.
I looked at his latest VX Land-Cruiser attached to his 200-horsepower Yamaha boat for the first time without Jonah inside.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I caught the sight of Jonah’s weeping widow holding on to her two infant twins.
Most fishermen I knew were indeed affected by this sudden death of our role model.
Some of the colleagues gave support, which they thought would speed up the healing process.
Jonah’s widow had so many challenges to contend with. No one understood Jonah’s business, which meant she couldn’t take over.
Jonah left no residential property so she had to look for an alternative and cheaper place to rent. Their children had to be withdrawn from Peterhouse and transferred to cheaper Government schools.
Members of the Harare Association of Bassfishermen chipped in but the reality was that they were not able to solve all her problems.
They did what they could and left it to the Almighty to bridge the gap they had failed to fill. Coping with loss of an influential colleague is difficult. Though unavoidable and a reality no one can really claim to be very familiar or comfortable with it.
Thus the level of preparedness for such eventualities is low. Death is an emotional scene.
Average human beings find it difficult to come to terms with it. The longer people stick together for a long time, the more the emotional attachments become.
However, companies underestimate the power of such interactions. Death brings with it anticipation and anxiety. This raises further emotions to those affected by it.
Death creates a vacuum, which is not easy to fill. Death is also a change agent in itself.
No one is able to fit into someone’s shoes easily. On the other hand, the followers have a tendency to expect maintenance of current status which is not practical. Death results in a Cultural Revolution that raises further emotions.
Healing process
In most cases the first challenge is to accept that the loss has occurred. Both workmates and family members at times find it difficult to accept the loss. Over the years no one has been able to answer the question why. Why them?
Acceptance
The first and major step towards any healing process is to accept the eventuality by acknowledging that some events cannot be changed or altered.
Willingness to seek assistance
Management can play a crucial role here by calming down fellow workers and dispelling any myths that might be arising out of the death. Of critical importance is management and workers might need counselling or support groups if levels of emotions are unsustainably high.
Willingness to embrace the change
Though the workers and management might be finding it difficult to fill the vacuum there is need to slowly sow seeds of hope.
Management can come with new solutions and the workers can also suggest other coping mechanism.
This can be done informally or formally. The counsellor/consultant can be roped in to facilitate this Cultural Revolution.
Management might also move in by appointing someone to take over the reins.
At this juncture communication will be very important to allay any fears that might arise from the new changes.
Releasing the counselled
People undergoing counselling are akin to a young brother that is being consoled with a hug by his sister after watching a horror movie at home.
The hug cannot be sustained for the whole night. For argument’s sake, if the hug continues until the following day they risk failing to do essential assignments thereafter.
After a hug the sister must be able to let go to forge ahead with life challenges ahead.
The young brother cannot totally remove the fear from his sister just like the bass fishermen could not totally solve all the problems of the widow. People can be counselled for a short while beyond that they must be released to find new ground for themselves.
Should you continue counselling you risk slowing down people’s recovery process.
Even the bass fishermen assisted the widow for some time after some time they went back to their business. There are things we can do as individuals and what we cannot do as people, which only God can solve.
It is not possible to neither solve all problems nor close the vacuum easily. Only the passage of time is the greatest healer.