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Fadzayi Maposah-Correspondent
Chamu, my good looking and intelligent cousin from where I stood then, seemed to know which road to walk.
What happened?
I do not have the finer details, but there are pointers that may give a hint of what transpired.
What I have learnt is that there are some people who do not just like others for who they are, but for the benefits that can be realised from the association.
Sadly, there are people who laugh at others for things they have no control over.
Can one be a source of ridicule just because of the family that they come from or from what the family lacks or has not been able to acquire?
There comes a time in one’s life that one yearns for companionship and this company that is yearned for is from the opposite sex.
Remember as I always say, hormones have no manners so you may really like someone that you may not ‘deserve’.
I picture this. A young man sees a girl that he likes. She is from another world but the young man is determined to create a world in which he and the girl will fit in.
So, he approaches the girl after gathering courage.
If the girl thinks that the boy is from a lower class, there is bound to be some strange looks, the kind of gazes that almost drill through a person just to prove that you could never be compatible.
I was telling some people during a discussion that sometimes we expose ourselves to so much pain just by asking too many questions.
When someone says they cannot be with us, we want to know why.
At times we justify why we think we should be together. At times the answers that we get are hurtful. Maybe the individual does not intend to hurt us so much or maybe they think that if they tell us off, we quickly leave.
Now Chamu did not have the best of childhoods but amidst those challenges, he managed to end up at the then only Zimbabwean university, the University of Zimbabwe where he excelled as well.
He was a role model for other young children back home (kumusha kuChikato kuShurugwi). It was possible to make it, Chamu one of their own had made it. It was doable.
During vacations when he went home, there were young people who wanted to see him, hear him talk about life in Harare and hear him encourage them that since he had done it, they too could make it.
For my handsome and brilliant cousin, who too had a beautiful heart, it was a lot to take in.
Moving from one extreme where he had been dismissed by others and to have others who wanted to hear his opinion and want to be with him, was a handful.
Even those who in the past had seemed too busy for him, now had time for him.
Attention can be good but it needs to be handled well.
What had seemed difficult in the past, getting company was no longer cumbersome.
Precautions in the process were thrown to the wind and one was left exposed.
Exposure has its own dangers and without proper support systems one succumbs and drowns in the storm. Everyone needs someone who can be honest with them, no matter the situation.
The same people can bail you out as you wade into deep waters.
Then there is the component of peer pressure.
Peer pressure can be positive or negative.
Negative peer pressure can take one totally off the rails as people contest who can be as bad as it gets.
There is the Shona proverb, “kuyeuka bako wanaiwa”, loosely translated, to mean that remembering the cave where one can seek shelter when one is already wet.
It is not everyone who gets a second chance at life or opportunities, hence it is better to make the most from any occasion.
Chamu and many others were so full of potential but it was all lost and Zimbabwe is poorer because of lost talent.
When I look at college students getting almost wild with the freedom that they have without parents or guardians in the picture, I can only muster the courage to say please take care.
We are in the graduation season.
There is much celebration as people are happy with journeys travelled and the achievements accumulated.
In the celebrations, there are chances mistakes can be made that may have lifelong consequences.
Just a few moments of what would have been deemed fun can turn into something worse than a horror movie.
I believe that even in bleak situations, there is hope for a better ending when on gets the right support.
The first step though is being able to take the first step in the right direction.
When one is pulled in a direction that may signal a downturn it is important to remember these words, “tiza neupenyu hwako,”flee with your life.
If, however, you get entangled as you attempt to flee, there are life boats that you can reach out to and get a ride to shore. There is no need to lose great potential and make grave sites places of many unrealised dreams.
At a time when Zimbabwe has made great strides in HIV and Aids programmes, prevention, treatment, care and support, there are those who let this country lose the potential within themselves just by not accessing services that others never got a chance to get because then these services were not available.
Some lost potential was never meant to be lost but the potential holders opted not to get the necessary support.
Online Reporter