Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha
LOVE by DESIGN
Happy belated May Day and new month!
This week it is all about social media. In today’s digital age, social media is often painted as either a shining saviour or a destructive monster. The truth lies somewhere in between. Social media itself is not inherently evil in my view — it is a tool. What makes it dangerous is how we, both men and women, choose to use it and allow it to intersect with our most intimate relationships. Sadly, many marriages are being strained, not because of social media itself, but because of the unchecked influence of content creators and the unrealistic standards they promote.
The trap of comparison
One of the most corrosive effects of social media is comparison. Couples scroll through curated feeds of influencers flaunting “perfect” relationships, lavish lifestyles, or exaggerated intimacy tips. These portrayals are often staged, edited, and far removed from reality. Yet, individuals absorb them as benchmarks for their own marriages.
Some spouses begin to measure their partners against these fabricated standards — pressuring them to behave like someone else’s husband or wife, to provide luxuries they cannot afford, or to adopt intimacy preferences that may not align with their values. This pressure breeds resentment, insecurity, and conflict in marriage. We have touched on this previously and it is somehow seemingly getting worse.
Scripture warns us against such misplaced focus: “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone(NLT says “in their work alone”), without comparing themselves to someone else” (Galatians 6:4). Authentic love thrives when couples appreciate the uniqueness of their union rather than chasing illusions.
Oversharing and its consequences
Another subtle danger is oversharing. Social media encourages people to broadcast every detail of their lives, including private marital struggles.
What should remain sacred between husband and wife becomes fodder for public commentary. This not only erodes trust but also exposes the relationship to ridicule and gossip.
Oversharing can ‘dismantle’ relationships, turning private disagreements into public spectacles and weakening the bond of confidentiality that marriage requires. Proverbs 16:28 cautions: “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.” When couples air their disputes online, they invite gossip and division into their homes.
The breakdown of morals
Social media misuse has contributed to the erosion of moral standards in some families. Intimacy, once regarded as sacred, is now trivialised by ungodly advice from some content creators. Some even encourage pornographic behaviours under the guise of “modern trends,” opening couples to spiritual defilement of the marriage bed.
Hebrews 13:4 reminds us: “Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Marriage is not a license to mistreat the body. Some couples may not realise that they must still honour God in intimacy. Whatever you do in that bedroom must glorify Him — or else it satisfies the whims of the enemy. If you are not worshipping God with your behaviour in the bedroom, there is no guessing who you are pleasing and worshipping, unfortunately.
Believers are called to a different standard. Jesus said in Luke 12:48(b): “To whom much is given, much will be required.” You cannot copy the world’s practices and then wonder why things go ‘south’ in the long run, when the enemy comes for ‘his pound of flesh’, wrecking havoc in the process. Each couple must understand God’s purpose for marriage and be in agreement to follow His way. Thankfully, there are resources available that serve as eye-openers on intimacy God’s way, helping couples to honour Him even in their private lives.
Wisdom from scripture
The Bible offers timeless guidance for couples navigating modern challenges:
Guard your heart: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). Protect your marriage from toxic influences by being discerning about what you consume online.
Contentment: “But godliness with contentment is great gain”* (1 Timothy 6:6). Instead of chasing social media’s illusions, cultivate gratitude for what you and your spouse already share.
Respect and love: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church… Wives, respect your husbands (Ephesians 5:25, 33). These principles remain the foundation of a healthy marriage, regardless of trends or online debates.
Authenticity: “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good” (Romans 12:9). Genuine love cannot be staged—it must be lived daily with sincerity.
The call is simple: stop, think, and protect your marriage. Social media can inspire, educate, and connect, but it should never replace the guidance of Scripture, the counsel of trusted mentors, or the intimate communication between spouses.
Final thoughts
Marriage is a covenant, not a stage for public entertainment. It deserves genuineness, not imitation in my view. Protect it with wisdom, nurture it with respect, and anchor it in God’s Word. Do not let the devil use social media to dictate the direction of your union, we know how that goes.
Even intimacy has been distorted in some homes by ungodly advice. Couples must reclaim authenticity, discernment, and love to strengthen their marriages and also contribute to the moral strength of families and communities, all to the glory of God.
And for singles of mature dating age, there is hope for your own love story. A great singles ministry I know, is hosting an international retreat and conference in Victoria Falls later this month of May, where singles from across the world will gather for relaxation and teaching from servants of God.
Do reach out if you need details for attendance — I will gladly provide them.
Lets keep engaging. So please do comment, like and subscribe, and look out for exclusive interviews on our podcast “Love Unscripted”, an extension of this column.
Feedback: Connect on Facebook: Naledi Laina Makuzha, or WhatsApp/SMS: +263719102572
