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Fungai Lupande Features Correspondent
Failure by parents to draw the line between discipline and abuse when punishing children has led to unfortunate incidents. It has sometimes led to such catastrophes as death.According to the Bible, it is not a sin to discipline your child.
Proverbs 13:24 says, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
However, the use of the Biblical rod sometimes goes beyond discipline, especially when anger overtakes reasoning and the results can be tragic.
To avoid this extreme end, there are alternative disciplinary strategies which are acceptable and positive in nature.
These strategies include counselling and encouraging children while at the same time being firm and clear about rules and expectations.
The story of Solomon Musavengana (48) of Bikita who sjamboked his 13-year-old son for breaking the wind while the family was having supper is a case in point. The child crashed his head on a rock and later died due to the injuries sustained in the attack. The accident happened in January this year.
In August, a woman from Chitungwiza, Merjury Mafuratidze (34), assaulted her 10-year-old son to death with electricity cables and a high-heeled shoe for stealing 25c. The child collapsed and died.
Anger can impair one’s judgment.
Our sister paper, Kwayedza, recently published a story of a mother, Gladys Tswande (37), who is accused of starving her 15-year-old daughter as punishment.
The teenager was reportedly assaulted with a high-heeled shoe, cooking stick and at one point she was hospitalised.
The court heard that the reason for the abuse was that the teenager’s father was not paying maintenance.
In another case, in early September this year, a step-mother assaulted her six-year-old daughter with an axe handle.
On realising that she had injured the minor, Tendai Happiness Bwanya (45) inserted a vibrator into the minor’s private parts in an attempt to stage manage rape.
What happened to the poor little girl should never happen to anyone else.
The Convention on the Rights of the Child adopted by United Nations General Assembly resolution 44/25 of 20 November 1989 and enforced on September 2, 1990, states that no child shall be subjected to torture or other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.
It further states that neither capital punishment nor life imprisonment without possibility of release should be imposed for offences committed by persons below 18 years of age.
Childline Zimbabwe case and quality manager Ms Rati Moyo said there are a number of ways that can be helpful in disciplining and guiding our children which might not necessarily include physical abuse.
“There are alternatives to physical violence. Communication and explaining right and wrong is helpful. Explain to children what acceptable behaviour is to adults,” she said.
“Sometimes situations can be resolved using ways that empower the child to make good decisions, building the child’s ability to negotiate.”
She said parents could use of trained and qualified personnel who can assist with information regarding specific child behaviour change.
“Parents or guardians need to set clear and consistent rules for children. Parents or guardians need to be more involved in their children’s activities.
“Their showing interest will make a child feel appreciated and as such she/he may not behave badly.”
Ms Moyo said parents and care-givers can benefit from the positive parenting sessions conducted by Childline or call for help and counselling on the Childline 116 free phone.
“Generally, child abuse prevention activities are geared towards the abusers. This is because the children usually do nothing bad to attract such abuse.
“A parent with stress and difficulty should seek assistance from the appropriate services.
“They should undertake parenting skills sessions, some of which are offered by Childline to learn more on how to deal with growing children.”
She said parents who abuse drugs and alcohol should get assistance.
Ms Moyo urged children not to accept abuse for any reason and to be careful with an adult whose attitude has changed negatively towards them.
“As children grow older, they will find that many of their ideas will conflict with some of their family views. This can bring conflict among the members of the family,” she said.
“Try to stay calm and respectful towards grown-ups at home and other places. Remember you get love and respect by giving and showing love and giving respect.”
She urged people to ensure that they form strong connections with other family members and trusted adults like doctors, teachers, school nurses and counsellors.
“Keep telephone numbers of these trusted people in a safe place or even in your school desk. This way you can call and get help when you face abuse at home.”
Ms Moyo also said most abuses happen at home and it was difficult for children to get out of the abusive situation without help.
Speaking on corporal punishment in schools, Ms Moyo said there are no legal frameworks forbidding it within the school system.
“The policy document governing corporal punishment was circular P35 (Ministry of Education, Sport, Arts and Culture policy document) and it says corporal punishment should be administered in schools moderately by the school head or anyone who he so designates.
“The charges against the child should be written down in a log book and the punishment recorded, that is the number of strokes.”
She said this was an effort to ensure that emotions are removed from the administering of the punishment. However it also leaves a lot of room for individual interpretation, like what can be termed as moderate beatings.
According to Childline statistics 6 810 cases of abuse and violence on children were reported between January to July this year.
“There is a 56 percent increase in comparison to same period last year,” said Ms Moyo.
“Of all violence and abuse reports received, those concerning girls were higher than boys on a 1:15 boy to girl ratio.”
However, there is a 13 percent decrease for the 1 137 sexual abuse case reports received between January to July 2016 compared to same period last year
Another children organisation, Care at The Core of Humanity (CATCH), says parents should never beat a child to the extent that they sustain severe or serious injuries on their body or when the beating is detrimental to the child’s health.
CATCH executive director Mr Maxwell Chambari said ill-treatment is determined by the object that has been used to beat a child, for example fists, foot or any metal or harmful substance.
“Notwithstanding the parts or area that the parents will be beating, for they are parts which are sensitive and fragile like the head or the genitals.
“The Children’s Act also mentions or addresses this issue in Section 7 (1) where it states that any parent or guardian of a child who assaults or ill-treats or causes him unnecessary suffering or injury or detrimentally affect his health or body, shall be guilty of an offence.
“The Criminal Law (Codification and Reform) Act 2004 states in section 241(2)(a) that “a parent or guardian shall have authority to administer moderate corporal punishment for disciplinary purposes upon his or her minor child or ward.”
Mr Chambari said child abuse can be mitigated and moderated by educating parents or guardians on the rightful and acceptable ways of disciplining their children.
“Introducing stiffer penalties on child abuse perpetrators can also reduce child abuse,” said Mr Chambari.
“Educating children on their rights and responsibilities as they relate to abuse will lead to an increase in cases of abuse being reported.
“CATCH and the Department of Child Welfare and Protection Services offer counselling services, family therapy and conduct parental dialogues in a bid to equip them with coping mechanisms on how to deal with their children in a constructive manner. Stop child abuse and speak out,” he said.
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