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So the drama in the opposition camp unravelled this week.
One Morgan Tsvangirai, leader of the MDC-T, managed to get Tendai Biti, his erstwhile secretary-general, booted out of Parliament.
This has generated a lot of debate, in ways more than one.
Tsvangirai and his supporters have taken the decision by Parliament with extraordinary relish.
It feels good – and beating an old enemy is almost a religion.
Remember Biti and company fancying themselves to be the real MDC and having the temerity to expel Tsvangirai from his pet project, and his only source of livelihood, humiliating him to no end in the process?
Remember people out there, including Speaker Jacob Mudenda, wondering who the real MDC was?
Remember Biti saying that Tsvangirai was an idiot, a certified one, perhaps?
This week he was overheard calling Tsvangirai a dog?
Of course, the circumstances were changed, Tsvangirai the idiot, ignoramus and whatnot having turned the tables on Biti, the clever, arrogant lawyer.
But that is the name of the game.
It would be naïve to imagine that Tsvangirai would let Biti and company be, especially when there was sufficient room to deliver them a decisive, mortal blow.
Which is what he exactly did, perhaps with the aid of zanu-pf, or more, specifically, circumstance.
Biti and his band are definitely going under, some of whom never to return to the political scene.
Let’s be clear that it will be difficult for Biti himself, whom we have seen and heard to be almost despairing on his prospects.
We will see.
But we can still afford to bet that bottom dollar on the fact that he will seek reclusion in his world of law.
Yet that is lucky, isn’t it, for him?
Imagine if the same would have happened to the man from Nerutanga Village who is not gainfully employed and is, in strict terms, unemployable?
Hoist by own petard
You don’t have to like Tsvangirai to understand his actions.
Biti and company acted foolishly and they are paying the price of Dutch courage or brinkmanship and poor judgment.
It is that which has afforded Tsvangirai a cynical smile.
He can even laugh himself stupid at the misfortunes of Biti and his acolytes.
We won’t begrudge him that.
That is his league: he can only defeat minnows in the game and never the one heavyweight.
But it is also instructive to note that Biti did not bring this upon himself.
We mean, the problems and circumstances are not entirely of his own coinage.
We understand that there was consensus in the MDC that Tsvangirai, having lost the elections in July 2013, had reached his ceiling and it was time for him to hand over the reins, whether he wanted it or not.
Plans were put in place to quietly and amicably retire him so that he would become the Mandela of the party.
He would be given soft landing by way of perks and travel across the globe where he would do some lecture series.
The money was there.
The transition, which was to be midwifed by eminent people like Kofi Annan, was to be smooth.
Then came Elton Mangoma and his blusterous letter that sent Morgan into shock.
That is how the plan fell apart.
That is how Biti and others stepped into the ring to show solidarity with Mangoma.
That is how their end began.
Now, they stand blown away by their winds.
Lucky Morgan
Let’s admit that Morgan is a lucky man.
He doesn’t need a lucky charm (and he is not charming himself), even one from Nigeria.
His awfully good luck stems from the fact that he has been at the right place at the right time.
He was the secretary-general of the Zimbabwe Congress of Trade Unions when the country was suffering the shock of Bretton Woods institutions-prescribed structural adjustment programmes.
There were job losses, cuts in social spending, bad economic performance, and in a nutshell, national misery.
A song or two were even sung about Esap – in particular one in which a guy mourns that he has been “pinched” by Esap so he is going to the rural areas where everything abounds.
That kind of national condition is called austerity in modern times.
So Tsvangirai’s role at the time was rather easy: push, push and push the Government; champion the rights of the workers.
Lead strikes and stay-aways.
Any fool could do that.
That happened to be Tsvangirai, an unlettered guy who happened to work in some mine.
He got stripes.
Earned, say.
That is how we saw the birth of Morgan Tsvangirai the politician and later on the champion of white landed interests in this country that had been upset by the revolutionary land reform programme.
Tsvangirai has disappointed those interests.
Repeatedly.
He has failed to marshal a win in three presidential elections, which he should have used to give back to his white benefactors.
However, for all his warts, he remains the best chance and hope for the success of the white project.
He that is scarce on letters, short on charm and short on judgment.
Could anyone be luckier?
Morgan on the move
Right now, as Biti is licking his wounds Morgan has just travelled to the United States, which is a morale and diplomatic boost for him.
The white world still believes in dear old Morgan!
They are willing to invest a little more time and resources in this man from Buhera.
What a slap in the face for the lawyers and professors who have only just recently joined forces!
Morgan will no doubt come back flush with cash, what with the ambitious project to cause anarchy in Zimbabwe and the global campaign that he seeks to embark on as he readies to tackle President Mugabe back home.
It will be interesting.
The times surely will be interesting.
The white benefactors are most probably routing for the anarchy route, which only their “courageous” Morgan can conduct, as the last resort.
Can’t eat cake and have it.
Which brings us to the main point of this piece.
We hear Tsvangirai’s MDC party “is dragging President Robert Mugabe to court in a bid to stop all the country’s pending by-elections before the passage of necessary electoral laws, in conformity with Zimbabwe’s new Constitution.”
The MDC-T’s mouthpiece Daily News told us yesterday: “In a Constitutional Court application filed on Monday, the MDC cited (President) Mugabe as one of the respondents in the matter, after the (President) recently set March 27 as the date for by-elections in Chirumhanzu-Zibagwe and Mt Darwin West.”
The bigger picture is that Parliament’s decision to expel MDC rebels has thrown no less than 21 seats vacant and in need of filling, according to the law.
The MDC-T is in a quandary whether to participate or not, and the quandary has become bigger given the sheer number of seats in this case.
The MDC-T had previously told us it would not participate in any by-elections.
Perhaps they thought they would be just a couple of seats.
Now that MDC-T precipitated this mass dismissal, Morgan is unsure what to do.
The law says by-elections must duly be held.
He is ill-prepared, at best, and does not have the will- power to contest the elections because he will further embarrass himself at the hands of Zanu-PF, which is definitely rubbing its hands with glee at the moment.
So our Tsvangirai comes up with this dubious court challenge, which by the looks of it is not dragging anyone anywhere but his poor confused self.
But Tsvangirai cannot be allowed to eat his cake and have it at the same time.
Meanwhile, we await another schism in the party as poor, blundering Tsvangirai dithers over the question of participation.
To some, this is a chance to get into Parliament and all its perks, which Tsvangirai cannot, should not deny them.
Others, like one Job Sikhala, say they will quit politics if the party participates.
We will have all this under the radar . . .
Online Reporter