Online Reporter
Raymond Jaravaza, B-Metro Reporter
HE’S outlived the colonial era, all the world wars, independence, and more presidents than we care to count, but Anuloisa Banda, at a mind-blowing 122 years old, can’t get funeral cover to save his life, or rather, to help bury him when the time comes.
Yes, you read right, 122.
Born on 12 December 1903 in Tukuyu, on the border between Malawi and Tanzania, the centenarian moved to then-Rhodesia in the 1920s. He’s now the pride of Ward 8 in Bulilima District, Matabeleland South, and possibly the oldest person in the world.
If verified, he could even enter the Guinness Book of Records as the oldest living person ever.
Still amazingly clear-minded, one can say he’s 122 and still counting…
Despite surviving the test of time, what for other mortals is usually a mere formality is standing in his way.
Four funeral insurance providers have flat-out rejected him because he’s “too old” and “high risk”.
“It’s like they’re just waiting for him to die,” said his daughter-in-law, Judith Maphosa, clearly upset.
“My daughter in South Africa tried to register uKhulu with two Zimbabwean-run funeral policy companies there.
They said, ‘He’s too old. He might die anytime.’ Just like that. Cold and clinical.”
Undeterred, the family tried their luck with two more providers here in Zimbabwe, only to hit the same wall.
“We know he won’t live forever,” Mrs Maphosa added, “but it’s cruel to treat him like he’s expired milk. He’s a human being who deserves dignity, even in death.”
Mr Banda, who lives with his daughter-in-law’s family, still has his mental faculties intact, recalling historical details like the time he left home at 18 to work in Dar es Salaam, and later heading south to Rhodesia around 1923 in search of better opportunities.
He worked in Mhangura, Bindura, and Shamva mines, rubbing shoulders with hundreds of immigrants brought in under Wenela — the Witwatersrand Native Labour Association, which recruited Malawians and Zimbabweans for the South African mining sector.
Eventually, he settled in Filabusi, where he met his late wife, Xotshiwe Maphosa, and raised five children, three of whom are now deceased.
“My mother-in-law passed away in 2008 and I couldn’t let uKhulu live alone,” said Mrs Maphosa.
“He needs help getting around, going outside, even using the toilet. But his memory is better than some people half his age.”
The family is now appealing for a wheelchair to improve his quality of life. Anyone willing to help can contact Mrs Maphosa on 0775 894 249.
An anonymous funeral insurance rep told B-Metro that most companies don’t accept new clients above 70, citing the obvious — they’re not profitable.
“There are once-off packages available, where you pay up front for coffin, hearse, chairs, and tents. That’ll set you back about US$1 000, or even US$500 for cheaper, local set-ups,” the source revealed.
So for now, uKhulu Banda remains a living legend without a policy. He’s one of Zimbabwe’s oldest citizens, yet ironically “too old to insure.”
Meanwhile, in the UK, Ethel Caterham, 115, recently became the world’s oldest person, telling the BBC her secret is “never arguing with anyone.”
Looks like uKhulu’s secret might just be outliving logic itself.
