Sundaymail Editor
PETALS flew off a colourful bouquet of exotic export-quality flowers as the vivacious and curvy recipient threw the expensive Valentine’s Day gift back at the deliveryman and instructed guards to shut the door after him.
“Phew, until when will this bloke learn to leave me alone? I have nothing to do with him and his expensive gifts,” Sophia shouted as she made her way back into her office.
There was a deathly silence.
Her workmates watched in disbelief as the deliveryman made his way out of the office.
Only God knows how the unfortunate chap who sent the flowers reacted on being given back the gift, which indicated that his shot at goal had missed the target.
Welcome to the world of love, which is full of surprises and pregnant with lessons.
Tomorrow, most places will literally be painted red as the world celebrates St Valentine’s Day, when lovers show deep affection for each other through random acts of kindness and public displays of affection.
But, how did the celebration start?
A priest named Valentine was martyred in 270 CE (Common Era) by Emperor Claudius II Gothicus after he found out that he was secretly helping Christian couples get married.
The Feast of Saint Valentine was declared by Pope Gelasius I in 496AD and was to be celebrated on February 14 in honour of Saint Valentine of Rome.
The celebration has been commercialised over the years, with most retailers coming up with all sorts of packages to wring cash from lovebirds. Hotels and lodges will be busy as they host love-themed gigs for those with an appetite and the financial muscle to spend quality time together.
As I commit pen to paper, gentle reader, anything red, which is deemed the colour of love, is selling fast, while both upmarket and low-class florists are running around looking for flowers to sell to whoever needs them.
Car rental firms and wildlife resorts have also tailor-made exciting packages to ensure they make as much money as possible.
Some characters whose love lives are on shaky ground are busy making up so that they would not be found wanting when the big day arrives. Managers are already in trouble as employees feign sickness to buy time to celebrate without work-related challenges.
Loan forms are flying around as lovers seek to extend their spending power.
“This Valentine’s Day has come at a time when I have just paid school fees, so I have to fill in a loan form promptly so that I can get extra cash to at least take my wife out. The love fires must keep burning, so I have no option but to borrow kuitira kuti ndisvetuke gomba iri,” I heard young workmates saying during a recent lunch break.
“I am gearing up for the day and have since sent my swanky suit to the dry cleaners. I want to be so smart with not even a hair out of place and to achieve this I have to seek a soft loan so that I come out smart,” a love-drunk youth told this writer.
Some people are even planning gifts for people who do not care about them?
St Valentine’s Day is associated with heartbreaks and astonishing discoveries.
This is a day when one discovers that they are dating someone with countless lovers.
Suitors normally clash or meet at the same restaurant. Some wayward mothers are caught in the equation as they accept gifts from more than one gentleman seeking their daughter’s hand in marriage.
This is a day when some married women lie in ambush to trap their philandering husbands.
It is also a day when young women are sexually abused in the name of celebrating love.
Couples normally clash during love celebrations as women seemingly do not take kindly to men who buy them flowers at the expense of food for the family.
Unattached souls are known to buy themselves flowers during St Valentine’s Day to make the world believe they have soulmates even when the opposite is true.
Love is greater than war and let’s celebrate it for the right reasons.
Inotambika mughetto.
Online Reporter