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RELATIONSHIPS are built on promises kept, not on promises broken!
It is unfortunate that some people are not aware how hurtful it is when they make promises and fail to fulfil them. Many hearts have been left broken because of fake promises. Whenever someone, especially your loved one, promises you something, it raises your hopes high and when they fail to deliver, you find yourself heartbroken and hurt.
Keeping someone hanging on to false hope is an evil and cowardly thing to do and no explanation can justify a fake promise. Most people will try and explain why they made a certain promise which they knew they will never be able to fulfil. Most times it will just be a passport to sail through. But the fact remains that a false front will come out eventually and you will have even more problems for failing to pay your credit.
Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. Letting the other person hold on to something that can’t be done is totally unfair. Some sisters were turned into ‘‘Lord of the rings’’ with engagement rings, but only for the man to marry someone else. Of course, marriage promises which never come to pass have affected both men and women. It is better to be honest and disappoint your partner by saying the truth than to make a fake promise.
Some people break promises time and again. They chip away at your trust little by little and leave you nothing but empty words and disappointments. People like this can be toxic because actions speak louder than words.
Human beings need to feel a sense of security in order to create bonds with their peers. Promises are declarations of intention that help strengthen trust between people.
For your partner to trust you, she got carried away with the little promises you used to make. For example, visiting her whenever you had said you would and buying whatever you would have promised, it made you win her heart because you appeared honest by keeping your promises. Promises are valuable because they add an element of certainty and expectation. When your significant other promises you something and then does it, you feel loved and committed.
Breaking a promise is the fastest way to kill a relationship. That’s especially true if the person breaking the promise is a repeat offender.
It’s very easy to judge other people for what they do or don’t do and forget about your own behaviour. Human beings are incredibly complex creatures, so much so that sometimes you appear ambivalent without even realising it.
In other words, some people openly and maliciously break their promises, there’s no doubt about that. However, there are also people who behave this way because of deep issues which they aren’t fully aware of.
Sometimes people break promises because they are insecure and cannot say no. Other times (most of the time) they get carried away by those intimate and happy moments when promises are attractive and easy to make. Those same promises that seem so important at the time can easily slip through the cracks later on.
Something that you should keep in mind about breaking promises is that not only are you disappointing that person, but you are damaging your own self-esteem. This damage has direct and collateral effects. It creates emotional conflicts, you lose honesty and your relationships are poisoned by mistrust.
At times the people who break promises are not all alike. Some people aren’t aware that they do it, or at the very least they don’t do it in bad faith. They get carried away by self-deceit. They truly believe that they will be able to do everything they promise to do. Or even they aren’t good at being realistic and they get carried away by the excitement of the moment. They make promises that they simply can’t keep. People like this are often immature and don’t have a good sense of their limitations. Nevertheless, they often make these promises from the heart. Their enthusiasm is usually contagious and they make other people believe that what they are saying is possible. In such a situation, the broken promises affect the promise-breaker as well. They get caught up in their own failures and disappointments.
There are two-faced promises. Agreements that you make in order to get something in return. You see that often in couples or with family members. You might make a promise to someone in exchange for their commitment to do something for you. In this case, sometimes one person holds up their end of the bargain only to realise that the other person didn’t comply. It could be that it was just completely out of their control, but sometimes the intention is manipulative.
Fear of saying “no”
Some people break promises because they don’t know how to be assertive. They can’t say no when their partner, children or friends ask them to commit to something. If you don’t know how to set boundaries, you might end up taking responsibility for something that you know you can’t do. With fake promises, you will also face rejection and disappointment on the faces of people you love so be careful of what you promise as it also haunts you as well.
Some people understand the weight that a promise can carry, and some people have yet to learn. When you make a promise, you are taking on a responsibility and putting faith in yourself. If you don’t have that self-confidence, it’s very difficult for you to keep those promises.
“Keep every promise you make and only make promises you can keep,” says Anthony Hitt.
Online Reporter