Chronicle Editor
Kudzai Chikiwa, Features Reporter
DO they have an aura of reverence on them? Are they normal kids like everyone? Are they somehow closer to God? Are they roommates of angels? When adolescence and peer pressure rings its bell on teenagers does it elude them because they are under a man of God’s roof? Do they have a unique sense of reasoning that makes them immune to sniffing drugs? Do their conscience automatically resist when they hear of vuzu parties? Are they moving Bibles with scriptures that constantly remind them to shun evil and do well? Or they are just pastor’s kids who are normal like everyone and society has created an anecdotal life of supernatural expectations on them just as their pastor parents. When it comes to the children of the ministers of the word, stereotypes abound.
First, people imagine a little angel, a model child who lives by the rulebook and follows in the footsteps of his or her minister parent. In many churches, this is an expectation as much as it is a stereotype.
Yet perhaps the dominant stereotype of the pastor’s kid is the prodigal — wayward child, the rebel who has fallen away from the faith, the backslidden who’d rather strike out on their own than live in the shadow of the steeple. It has become normal to society that when they hear of a “pastor’s kid”, all that rings in their mind is a reckless, proud, arrogant, pompous, uncontrollable, resistant and disrespectful child.
Pastors’ kids have been portrayed as bad eggs.
The Christian Bible has circumstances where children of ministers betrayed the faith of their parents and became rebellious.
The book of 1 Samuel 2:12-36 talks of an Israelite priest Eli despite his devotion to serving in the temple, he had scoundrel sons Hophni and Phineas. The sons abused the temple and raped women at the entrance of the temple till God killed them. Eli ended up losing his priestly duties and died as well.
Genesis 19:30-38 talks of daughters of a man of God, Lot who lived in Sodom and Gomorrah and his daughters slept with him.
“That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up,” reads the Bible.
The media also has a large influence in giving the society negative lenses to view the pastors’ kids. Film producers draft a film with a naughty, reckless, proud, arrogant, resistant and disrespectful pastor’s kid in mind. Nollywood movies like The Pastor’s daughter and The Pastor’s son shows that the common biblical quote which says “Can anything good come of Bethlehem” has somehow been twisted to say “Can anything good come out of a man of God’s house.”
The Pastor’s daughter is a Nigerian movie that has a teenage girl character Immaculate who is a prostitute, money lover, brutal, heartless, loose and disrespectful young girl. She is determined to bring down her father’s reputation. Immaculate left the church tongue-tied when she came to church late wearing an orange dress too high showcasing her light thighs, twisting her curvy body during the time her father was on the pulpit preaching about righteousness. The Pastor’s son which is also a Nigerian movie presents a nuisance pastor’s son who bunked church partying with girlfriends. On many occasions pastor Okafor his father regretted the death of his wife as his son went out of control.
Kamran Wajih, the marketing, planning and strategies director at the Express Media Group argues that “The media’s role is like that of a mirror — it only reflects what is real.”
Looking at the ideal media role suggested by Wajih it becomes problematic for the society to look into pastor’s kids with a positive eye because the media has mirrored “a pastor’s prodigal child”.
Society rarely thinks of sitting down with these kids and get to know them more and perhaps dig out on what influences the so called “prodigal behaviour” which props out in them. The Sunday News got to dig deep to understand pastors’ life skills, family set up, their view of church, what they expect from parents and what their parents’ ministry means.
Takura Moyo, a son to Overseer Moyo of the Glad Tidings Ministry in Bulawayo posted on Facebook: “My father is a pastor and I am a believer, the same temptation that befalls you also comes my way, so never expect me to act like an angel. When your own kids are partying at night don’t expect me to be in a prayer closet.”
Moyo shared his sentiments of being a pastor’s kid saying he lost his freedom since his father became a pastor.
“Before my dad joined the ministry I was a free man without anyone interfering with my whereabouts, since he became a pastor, it appears as if I hold a public office, life is of public interest. It’s not like we are bad people but the society makes us bad. A tiny mistake is exaggerated into a big scandal just because my dad stands on the pulpit,” he said.
Miracle Garikai* whose dad is a pastor in the Seventh Day Adventist Church said pastors’ kids are not bad but they lack parental guiding since their parents are devoted to a “large family”, that is church.
“I am a normal child who needs an available parent telling me they love me. If there is no such intimacy, people should not be surprised if I look for someone to fill the gap. If my father has never told me that he loves me, then if a man says so definitely I go crazy. I am not blaming my parents but appeal to church members to give us space. I am bored by unplanned visits by believers who deprive us of our time as a family. When do they expect us to sit down with our parents? While my father is counselling other youths, who is counselling me?” she said.
Some pastors’ kids said they find it hard to accept that their parents resign from work to go to Bible colleges.
“Parents suddenly claim to be called without even consulting us. It’s not easy to accept that your dad decides to surrender his profession for the sake of God. We are left to suffer in the hands of church elders while parents go to Bible College. Somehow I just get wild because I totally don’t understand this whole ministry thing,” said Nyasha Maravanyika.
From the chat with pastors’ kids, an important point to note is that pastors should create time with their families, believers should give them space and when they receive a calling to ministry they should make their children part of the decision making board to make them aware of their major step to the ministry. In an interview, Mr Brian Mutembedza, a Harare-based religious and social analyst said men of God tend to dedicate their time to the work of God while depriving their own family a chance to interact in a family set up.
“Since men of the cloth dedicate their time to helping church members’ children, it is important for them not to forget their children since no one is called to do that for them unless in rare circumstances. At the end of the day when their children get wild, the same youths they counselled in church discriminate their kids and mock them,” said Mr Mutembedza.
“The elderly in the church have to come in and assist in moulding pastors’ children instead of harbouring a stereotypical mindset towards them. When the pastor is counselling your child, know that his child is left alone home exposed to social media, films and all sorts of devil’s hotspots. Therefore be humane enough to take your pastor’s child and teach them on culture and moral values.”
Many churches and church-run schools formed ministries and clubs to provide teachings to pastor’s kids. In 1991 the founder of Zaoga FIF Ministries Archbishop Ezekiel Guti launched a ministry called Sons and Daughters of Prophets (SADOP) after realising stereotypes on pastors’ kids and how they got lost and find it hard to accept the calling of their parents. In an interview, SADOP International Director Pastor David Guni said, “This ministry is meant to love pastors’ kids and try to make them pour their hearts. Society should understand that these kids are not born Christians hence they need someone to usher them to receive Jesus Christ as their personal saviour. After that we then work to mould a complete character in the Lord.”
“It’s a way to get time with them and understand the hardships they face in life. We hold annual conferences and give them a platform to discuss issues that affect them both in the ministry and other aspects of life. People forget that a pastor’s kid is a normal child like their own.
It is through teaching that they come to understand who is God and what their parent’s ministry is all about. It is hard to understand that your father resigns work and becomes a pastor hence it takes time for pastors’ kids to adjust,” said Pastor Guni.
Society indeed overlooks the positive behaviour of pastor’s’ kids as there are many significant people in society who are pastor’s kids, including Joseph Madziyire the co-founder of Zimpraise (son to former Apostolic Faith Mission President Aspher Madziyire), Bishop Nehemiah Mutendi who took over from his father Samuel Mutendi and the church is still standing.
It is a reality that many pastors’ kids have been trapped by the devil to be rebellious and a threat to their parent’s status. However, society overlooks the circumstances leading to this behaviour and also fails to appreciate pastors’ kids who follow the path of their parents or become better people. It is high time the society and the media put off the stereotypical lenses and join hands to mould these kids into a complete character.
Online Reporter