Online Reporter
Love will humble you if you let it. This week’s letters prove that sacrifices don’t guarantee loyalty, crushes don’t equal destiny, and nicknames can hide nonsense. Before you embarrass yourself, lose yourself, or explain foolishness to elders, read slowly. Bra Binzy is about to talk.
I LOST THE WEIGHT AND HE FOUND THE MAID
Dear Bra Binzy
I’m heartbroken. Six years ago, my husband made a negative comment about my weight. I weighed about 125kg at the time. I started going to the gym and adjusted my eating habits and I now weigh 80kg and I feel great about myself. The problem is that my husband impregnated the maid and she is very fat. During counselling at church he said he was attracted to the maid because she is thick and he likes thick women.
I changed my body for this man because I love him very much. I’m traumatised and crushed. I just wanna die. Help me Bra Binzy
– Devastated
Bra Binzy responds
Sisi . . . come closer.
This man did not cheat because of your weight.
He cheated because he has no discipline.
You worked on yourself. You listened. You adjusted. You showed love through action. Instead of respecting that, he went and disrespected you in the most public way possible, then explained it like a menu choice during counselling.
Liking thick women did not start the affair. Weak character did.
Now listen carefully. When you say “I just wanna die,” that is not drama. That is pain speaking. Please do not sit alone with that feeling. Call someone you trust. Get help immediately. Your life is not the price of someone else’s foolishness.
Do not twist yourself again trying to match a man’s appetite. Today it is thick. Tomorrow it will be something else.
Counselling only works if there is remorse. Not excuses. If he is comfortable humiliating you in church, then you must seriously ask yourself what staying is costing you.
You did not fail. He did.
I LEFT MY BOYFRIEND FOR A MAN WHO WAS NEVER INTERESTED
Dear Bra Binzy
I dumped my boyfriend for a guy who turned out to be gay. I’m so confused.
Two years ago, this nice guy, who always smells nice, was employed at my workplace. He was everything I dream of in a man. He pays attention to how he looks, has this pleasing physique and is always flawlessly dressed.
We hit it off immediately and he was so easy to talk to. I dumped my boyfriend and decided to concentrate my energies on the new guy. We became inseparable and he never pestered me for sex.
At the work Christmas party last year he brought a guy that he introduced as his partner. He later told me he is gay.
I will not recover from this. To make matters worse, I hear my ex recently got engaged. Is there a way I can win him back before he ties the knot?
– Anonymous
Bra Binzy responds
Eish.
Sisi shuwa, you didn’t lose a man. You lost a fantasy.
You fell in love with polish, gentleness, and emotional safety. That is understandable. But you ignored one important thing. Availability.
A man who never pushes for intimacy is not automatically respectful. Sometimes he is simply not interested.
Now about the ex. He is engaged. That door is closed, locked, and the house is rented out. Do not embarrass yourself by knocking.
Also be honest. You left him for a reason. Loneliness is now repainting the past and calling it regret.
Take the lesson. Next time, make sure attraction, intention, and honesty are all present. Do not build hope on vibes alone.
Heal quietly. Learn loudly.
EVERY WOMAN IN HIS PHONE IS CALLED BABE
Dear Bra Binzy
I recently found out my boyfriend calls me “Babe” because he can’t remember my name properly. I discovered this after seeing his phone. Every woman is saved as “Babe” When I confronted him, he said it’s a term of endearment and I’m overreacting. Am I dramatic or is this nonsense?
– Anonymous
Bra Binzy responds
AhhH Sisi . . . this is pure nonsense.
A man who does not know your name knows exactly what he is doing.
“Babe” is not romance when it is shared like airtime. This is not affection. This is organisation.
Here is a simple test. Stop responding to “Babe.” Suddenly he will remember your name, your surname, and probably your clan.
You are not dramatic. You are tired of being one of many. If he cannot treat you as an individual, then remove yourself from the group chat called his life.
Respect starts with names.
Bra Binzy’s
final word
Umjolo keeps recycling madness. Do not shrink yourself to be chosen. Do not chase people who are unavailable. And do not accept nonsense because it is delivered softly. Love should bring clarity, not confusion. Until next time, guard your heart and your dignity.
Want Bra Binzy to fix your messy umjolo situation?
n Email: [email protected]
Or WhatsApp us on 0776201133 with the hashtag #DearBraBinzy
