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Laina Makuzha-LOVE by DESIGN
In the ever-evolving times we live in, so much is changing in the family dynamics and parenting has not been spared. In marriages, expecting parents to love each other devotedly while loving and nurturing their kids in the same vein, now seems like such a tall order for some.
On the other hand, how many times have we come across stories of some single parents who are open to finding love again after previous loss or disappointment, who choose to “hide”their parenthood just so that they can score a date or marriage?
This almost always ends in disaster of course, when the truth finally emerges, as it often does. Some have abandoned parenting altogether, kutotiza chaiko, either dumping the baby or leaving society or family and community elders to figure out fate of the children. Yet it does not have to be this way.
Tough as it may be, with all our different circumstances and back-stories, we are called to build strong families, grounded in love and faith whether it is a single parent household or in a marriage. That means love should be flowing in the marriage as much as it is to the children.
The journey of parenting can be daunting, especially in today’s complex world with its countless demands. The recent disturbing story of a mother and son’s unnatural relationship in Zimbabwe serves as just one of many stark reminders of the attacks on the family unit and Godly marriages.
Many will admit that parenting has evolved significantly, with modern challenges and societal pressures testing the very fabric of family relationships as we knew them.
Couples often struggle to balance their love for each other which is essential to uphold, with the demands of raising children with love. It takes unconditional love and courage. The misconception that parenting must come at the expense of romantic love can lead to disintegration of a marriage.
And misunderstanding the demands and responsibilities of parenting can often lead to shock, resentment, burnout and deflation in some relationships. But it does not have to be this way. You can choose love regardless.
Choosing love
On a normal day, one is not superhuman, and parenting is not for the faint-hearted, but with prayer, openness, and a willingness to accommodate the whole family in your heart, you can navigate its challenges and strike that all too essential balance.
Here are some practical tips for successful parenting that might resonate with those who are already doing well in parenting, and possibly give insights to those who may still be figuring it out.
Prioritise daily interaction with your children, fostering meaningful connections.
Establish clear boundaries and discipline, tempered with love and empathy.
Schedule regular date nights and couple time to nurture your relationship.
Encourage independence, allowing children to grow and flourish.
Seek support from community, church, and extended family.
For single parents, it is essential to:
Maintain your own identity and interests outside of parenting.
Seek emotional support from friends, family, or counselling.
Set realistic expectations, acknowledging you cannot do it all alone.
Society’s role in supporting families
It is my view that we can all do something in recognising the plight of orphaned and abandoned children, providing love and care through community initiatives and support systems.
A few lessons from scripture
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6
“Love is patient, love is kind . . . Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
As we strive to build strong, Godly families, I invite you to share your thoughts, experiences, and advice on parenting in modern Africa. How can we support each other in raising healthy, well-adjusted children? What solutions can society implement to protect and nurture families without sacrificing the marriages themselves? Hats off to those who are soldiering on and getting it right, and also learning along the way.
I’m sharing a sample, simple but earnest prayer below, just to encourage someone who may be struggling in this area.
Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Grant us wisdom, patience, and love as we navigate the complexities of parenting. Help us prioritise our relationships and nurture our children. Strengthen our families, and may we be beacons of hope in a world that often seeks to tear us apart. In the name of Jesus. Amen
Together, we can exchange insights and ideas that help us cultivate a culture of love, support, and resilience — empowering families to thrive. So let us keep the conversation going, I would love to hear from you on this topic.
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