Online Reporter
Love is blind… but yoh, it mustn’t be this blind!
Eish… abantu bakithi! Every week my inbox reminds me that Cupid must have bought his arrows from eMkambo in Makokoba because some of the people he shoots end up making decisions that leave neighbours gossiping for months.
Love can make a professor behave like a Grade Two pupil. It can make a CEO cry over someone who doesn’t even save their number properly. It can even convince grown adults that “he’ll change” or “she’s different now.”
As always, Bra Binzy is here to rescue the nation one relationship disaster at a time.
My wife flirts with every man
Dear Bra Binzy,
Please settle an argument in my house.
My wife says she’s just naturally friendly. I say she’s too comfortable around other men. She hugs them, calls them pet names and laughs at jokes that are not even funny. If I complain, she tells me to grow up and stop acting jealous.
Am I insecure, or is there a line that married people shouldn’t cross?
Signed,
—Confused Husband
Bra Binzy says:
My man… my man… eish…
Being friendly is one thing.
Running a free emotional buffet is another.
If every man thinks he has a chance because of how your wife behaves, then something is wrong.
The same applies to men who tell every woman, “You’re special.”
Special loses its meaning when everyone is hearing it.
Marriage is about making your spouse feel secure, not making strangers feel important.
Don’t attack her.
Sit down calmly and explain how her behaviour makes you feel.
If she values the marriage she’ll listen.
If she laughs it off every time, then you’re not discussing friendliness anymore. You’re discussing respect.
Remember, boundaries don’t kill relationships.
They protect them.
My boyfriend wants me to finance his dreams
Dear Bra Binzy,
I’m a 29-year-old woman and I honestly don’t know whether I’m dating a man or sponsoring a start-up company.
When we met, he had big ambitions and I admired that. But in three years I’ve paid for chickens, a car wash, a tuckshop, a baking business and now he says podcasting is where the money is.
Every project starts with excitement and ends with excuses. Whenever I hesitate to give him money, he says I’m the only person who doesn’t believe in him. I’m exhausted and my savings account
looks like it has been robbed.
Am I giving up too soon, or am I simply being used?
— The Investor
Bra Binzy says:
Sisi… haa! You’re not a girlfriend anymore. You’re a walking bank loan with no repayment plan.
Supporting your partner is beautiful. Financing every unfinished dream is financial suicide wearing lipstick.
Your boyfriend doesn’t need another investment. He needs consistency.
Notice something? The businesses change, but the investor stays the same… YOU!
Tell him the next investment you’ll make is buying him a notebook where he can write down business plans instead of your bank account number.
Love should build both of you, not leave one person eating maputi while the other keeps announcing, “The next project will change our lives.”
Dreams are free. Funding them is not.
I lied about my age
Dear Bra Binzy,
Yoh, I’ve boxed myself into a corner.
When I met my boyfriend two years ago I knocked seven years off my age because I thought he’d never date an older woman. He believed me.
Now we’re planning marriage and every time he talks about paperwork, introductions or passports, I panic because my ID tells the real story.
I love this man and I feel guilty every single day. How do I tell him without destroying everything we’ve built?
Signed,
— Forever 34
Bra Binzy says:
Yoh!
You didn’t tell a small lie.
You created a whole new human being!
For two years you’ve been celebrating the wrong birthdays.
Soon relatives will be asking why your childhood photos look like they were taken during the black-and-white television era.
Here’s the thing.
People forgive many things.
They struggle to forgive lies that lasted years.
Tell him immediately.
Don’t wait until he discovers your O-Level certificate while looking for passports.
Tell the truth.
Apologise.
Accept that he may be angry.
If the relationship survives, your marriage starts on honesty instead of detective work.
And please…
Stop reducing your age every time you fall in love.
At this rate you’ll soon be applying for Form One.
Bra Binzy’s Final Word
People spend thousands on prophets and “experts” while ignoring common sense.
Disrespect repeated is a pattern, not a mistake.
Apologies without change are just noise.
Love shouldn’t turn you into a detective.
Choose peace. Choose dignity.
Love is usually simple — we just overthink it.
Keep your heart warm, your eyes open, and your wallet locked.
Want Bra Binzy to fix your messy umjolo situation?
l Email: [email protected]
l WhatsApp: +263 789 685 733
Use the hashtag #DearBraBinzy
