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Since relationships among impressionable young people usually lead to pre marital sex, dating between young church members has always been looked upon with suspicion by church elders.A� A�
Inevitably, this in most cases has seen young people shun openness as they feel that should they reveal their blossoming love it could be suppressed by elders who frown on such affairs.
To counter this, different pastors and church elders have always maintained that setting dating procedures for youths is in the best interest of young lovers.
They also acknowledge that despite concerted efforts from young people and church elders, the dating process is not always a success, as some youths still prefer secrecy to the transparency required by the church.
Harvest House International Church Pastor Leonard Mpezani, acknowledged that they had dating procedures stating that it was a process aimed at ensuring that youths date until they are married.
a�?Cognisant of the fact that dating should ultimately result in marriage, we encourage our young people to have mentors who will guide them in their relationships. Our desire is that these relationships ultimately result in wholesome marriages,a�? said Mpezani.
Senior Pastor of Hamba Vangeli Chiristian Ministry, Frank Mhlanga, who is also a marriage counsellor, echoed the same sentiments.
He, however, said that young people who fail to follow the dating procedure usually learnt the hard way as things went wrong later on.
a�?Some of the youth in many cases go astray and fail to follow the dating procedure. This has always resulted in them getting their fingers burnt. Some of them get pregnant, some even successfully get married but their marriages barely last,a�? said Mhlanga.
On the other hand, leader of the Johanne Masowe, Tinashe Tavengwa, said the dating procedure was more of an initiation into the marriage setup.
a�?As church leaders we have always come across problems in terms of how we handle young people who look forward to dating. Our main point is to ensure that people who date in churches become successfully married, because thata��s the only point of dating,a�? said Tavengwa.
He further dismissed the notion that pastors and elders actually choose dating partners for youths.
a�?We have heard such rumours that we do match making. Thata��s not the case, I dona��t know about other churches, but we dona��t do that. In fact interested parties come to us and tell us that they are prepared to date and we counsel them,a�? he said. Pastor Mhlanga said the dating procedures were meant to ensure that people are ready for marriage.
a�?We encourage marriages that come about in a Godly way. When one starts dating they must have one intention and that is, getting married. Otherwise dating for fun leads to people engaging in pre-marital sex and thata��s how unplanned pregnancies come about,a�? said Mhlanga.
He further added that most churches encourage internal dating among church members.
a�?We encourage congregants to date internally, if one is a Christian they have to marry a Christian. If they have dated for long they go through a six months process under counselling, even after marriage they have to go through counseling as well,a�? he said.
Quizzed on how the dating procedures are conducted, Mpezani said that they had structures within the church that deal with the dating procedures.
a�?We have specially designed programmes that cater for grooming young people as far as relationships are concerned.
Our young adultsa�� ministry (called AIM) together with our youth ministry (called Ablaze) runs these programmes,a�? he said.
Online Reporter