Diary of Mr 30 Something

MONDAY
I did not go to work today. I was not feeling well Diary. I think all this marriage stuff is finally getting to me.

TUESDAY
I went to see the doctor today. He said I was showing signs of being highly stressed which was not good for me or the baby.
I have the flu and he said he suspected it was because of being stressed. He gave me Vitamin C tablets, along with some tablets to help me sleep and another batch of relaxants. I hope they work for now. The truth is that my marriage is in a mess and it is affecting me not just emotionally but also physically.

WEDNESDAY
Oh Diary, this flu bug is affecting me. Balancing between stress and the flu is proving to be a challenge. Please God help me because I need to survive and go through these challenges of my life.

THURSDAY
I slept the whole day today with my baby. He has flu and so do I. I think my baby is feeling my hurt, so I need to get myself together and try to be positive around him and other people. I spoke to my husband’s little girl this morning. She was crying and insisting on coming to stay with me. It was so hard for me to say goodbye to her. I feel like such a cruel person.

FRIDAY
Anyway, I have to give my hubby 10 points for trying. He really planned this all out well, but it took guts for him to come to speak to my parents because they were very upset after the family fallout the other week.
He must have said the correct thing because just over two hours later, my father was calling me asking me to chat to my man. I wanted to see him again because I miss him, but I am also hurt, so I had mixed feelings.
Anyway, I saw him and listened to what he had to say. Like I said the other day he was letting me know we are going for marital counselling. He said other stuff, but I wasn’t really listening – ah too much talking and no real action from people.

SATURDAY
Ah this man! I am not sure what he is trying to do. Is he trying to flirt with me or play with my emotions, or is he genuinely trying to make things better for us? He send me a sweet good morning message before 7am, then he send me a lunchtime message, then he sent me a message this evening.
Of course they all touched me deeply and all I wanted was to call him and tell him I love him and want him back. But no! I know his game and I will not fall for it, until I am sure he is for real.

SUNDAY
I went to church today.