adminMONDAY
What a year! The year has gone by so quickly, it is ridiculous. I can still remember what happened in January and we are already in April. I asked my husband our Easter plans and he said it was still too far, so we will discuss it when we cross that bridge. I was confused because that bridge is this week. The kids are closing school in three days and then the next day is “Good Friday”. He went on and on about how we need to take each week at a time because things change constantly. Then he said “Babie, Easter is like in 13 days time, we will discuss it around the 6th April 2015”. Kikikiki, so funny. You should have seen his face when I told him Easter falls over this weekend – I wonder if this man ever listens at church. After-all, we have all these events happening at church in preparation for this weekend, he think it is another week?
TUESDAY
I need to decide what to do with the kids. I do not have the patience this holiday to deal with a bunch of kids. Someone has to take them. I love them, but every holiday I am babysitting other people’s kids. I need to work on things here at home with my husband without being distracted or torn between finishing important discussions with him or running to see to my crying baby boy, or shouting at a near teenage boy for misbehaving at school. My husband and I need to get on the same page this holiday, otherwise we are not going to be in a good place by end of the year.
WEDNESDAY
We received a call this morning from my husband’s in-laws out of town saying they wanted to visit this holiday. It is not fair. He discussed the issue with his mother and they agreed that it was fine for them to visit us. I think he has forgotten that over the last few months, I have been carrying the family’s finances and I have not had a say as to where, who or what it can be used for. There is always some relative wanting some form of assistance, but no one helps us when we are struggling. There is no way I am going to send our kids away and then have his relatives in the house over the holidays, it makes no sense. The kids might as well stay and keep the other visiting kids company. Not fair, not fair! I told my husband that he has to find money for all of them because I do not have any extra reserves left to entertain relatives and their kids. What is more annoying is that his relatives do not bring any money or goods with them. They come and visit the murora’s home empty handed, but leave with everything. I do not understand it and I am not okay with it. It is all about him and his family, but when I ask for a few dollars to get my things done – it is a big no! Well, watch and see I have a plan and he can’t stop me.
THURSDAY
So since my husband decided with my mother-in-law that it was okay for their relatives to come to the farm this holiday and so the kids cannot go out of town, yet he knows we are very short of finances; I decided to bring up the school thing again. I hear there is a two-week refresher course at the University of Zimbabwe, so I am going to attend. I need the break and I need the academic refresher before I begin my course in August. Apparently there is a refresher every month for the same duration, so I will register for all of them. At least I will have a break for two weeks each month. But that also means my husband will have to find the money to entertain his family because my money is being used to educate me and my kids.
FRIDAY
What a shock my husband gave me on this “Good Friday”. This is a day we are supposed to be remembering what Christ did for us on the Cross. Instead of him doing the same thing as head of the family by sacrificing his needs for me, he totally rubbished my plans to further my education. He said he felt the time was not right and that we should use the money for more pressing issues right now. I am lost when it comes to my husband’s priorities.
Does the Bible not say: “A man shall leave his mother and father to become one with his wife?” My husband brought his whole family with him to join with me his wife. Someone is not reading their Bible right. Because he spoke to me calmly, I could not get angry and raise my voice to him. So I kept quiet and listened. When he asked me if I understood, I said yes! But in my heart I said that does not mean I agree. I shall go ahead anyway and enrol in Harare for two weeks. I am sure his mother and the others can entertain the relatives and all the kids while I am away, after-all I do all my life.
SATURDAY
Oh yes, I needed this time so much. There is nothing better than spending a day with the girls. I tell you Diary, it feels so good when you talk about stuff and you realise they share the same story kikiki. I told the girls what I am going through with relatives always wanting to come over to our place for the holidays, but never bringing anything and always taking stuff away with them when they leave, if they leave. I was amazed when I told them that my husband is always taking his mothers’ side at my expense and they said they go through the same thing. I got some tips though on how to deal with it and I guess it is what I am already doing now. I have to put my foot down. Most of the women do not earn an income so they are at their husbands’ mercy. But one of the girls has a husband who earns less than her – pretty much like my current situation. She said she tries to be a good submissive wife, but when she needs to do stuff for herself, she does it.
Like now she is graduating with a degree this year, which means she can then work towards her doctorate imagine that! She paid for all of it herself because he man refused to pay for her education, just like mine. She said she realised that once she graduates, she is assured of a better and a secure life because she can go anywhere in the world with her degree or doctorate. She can even get a scholarship. She said she felt secure because her earning power is in her hands now and her kids will never suffer as long as she is educated. I love that!
SUNDAY
Things go from bad to worse Diary. We have a conference at the church at the end of the month and as usual each year my husband and I are asked to host a few couples because we have a few spare cottages on the farm. Normally we do not mind, but this year finances are tight, very tight as you know.
We said yes, but I know we can’t do it. There is far too much pressure on us now. Well, what good is that the relatives have to leave early this month because we will be hosting other people. Don’t get me wrong, the issue is not the relatives, the issue is what they do when they come (eat everything, expect us to buy them whatever they need, drink till all hours of the morning, fight and scream at each other, find reasons to do traditional/spiritual ceremonies for this that or the other and then they demand groceries and cash when they leave).
At least with church guest, they come with spiritual gifts, they fill our time with discussions around life and how the Bible relates to it all. Anyway, we have committed ourselves to the family and other guests visits, yet we are broke! Happy Easter! God is for all of us I believe it and I have faith he is watching.
Online Reporter