Sundaymail Editor
WE were gathered at the famous round huts in Glen Norah discussing football when an old woman in tattered clothes and a sooty headdress reached for her husband’s arm, who was part of the group, and dragged him for a side-talk.
Her gestures and the way she shook her head as she spoke showed all was not well.
“Until when will I continue paying for your son’s misdeeds?
“The last time I paid a fine for him as though he has no father! Play your part as a father and the moment you do so, I will stop bothering you,” she said in a voice filled with emotion, before she made her way from where we were.
Welcome to the world of fatherhood, an intriguing phase of life that is pregnant with challenges.
Called “Baba”, “daddy”, “mudhara”, “ngezha”, “ngezhman”, “Baba Nhingi”, being a father has many synonyms as if to match the challenges one has to face on an average day.
While being a father or head of a family is largely associated with eating in special plates, sleeping in a well-decorated room and calling the shots, it is one small cross most men will have to bear to the grave.
It can be worse if you are of little means.
Apart from having to face personal battles, when you are a father you have to account for what happens in the lives of those who live under your roof.
Sometimes being a father feels as if one has committed a crime.
Almost everything, from the family’s health, education and general upkeep, rests squarely on your shoulders.
Whenever a child misbehaves, the community seems to always blame the offender’s father.
But can anyone blame them?
Even the Bible says the father of an idiot has no rest (Baba vebenzi havana rufaro).
The situation is much worse today where you have boys and girls being ruined by drugs.
There are some fathers out there who are crying day and night because their sons and daughters are doing drugs and engaging in all sorts of morally reprehensible behaviour.
“When I got married, I thought that was an enjoyable rite of passage, not knowing that I had started a long journey that is full of challenges.
“My sons and daughters are doing drugs and I wonder whether I shall get rest. Fatherhood is great but the challenges therein are insurmountable,” one guzzler, who preferred to be identified as Wasu, told this writer.
He said had he known what lay ahead, he would not have gleefully crossed the line from bachelorhood to fatherhood.
“The story makes me cry day and night. No father is in any better place. I earn a lot of money, but all is spent on covering for my children’s needs and misdeeds. Ndakuvara hama yangu,” said another father.
Every time Mr Simba Nyatondo of Mbare, who is father to many daughters, sees a police van near his home his heart skips.
“Today’s children are very naughty and whenever I see a police van, I do not feel okay.
“I begin to think one of them would have done something illegal,” he said.
Mr Nyatondo said he was also used to chasing away young boys who frequented his home looking for his daughters.
“I am tired of seeing smartly dressed young men in my yard. I know they will be after my daughters but each time I ask what they will be looking for, they ask for unknown people.
“I also occasionally stumble on bouquets of flowers sent by some boys to enhance their chances. Fatherhood is just fun,” he said as he drank his beer leisurely.
Similar sentiments were shared by Mr Samuel Mutege, who sired many boys.
“I get afraid each time I see ladies carrying bags near my house because I suspect they will be eloping to one of the boys. I routinely search the boys’ bedroom to check if they are not hiding drugs. Hubaba ihondo mambo,” he said.
Gentle reader, while fatherhood has its trying times, it also has its fair share of interesting moments.
Inotambika mughetto.
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