Financial transparency

Hello there again readers. Thank you so much to everyone that sent in those encouraging remarks on the different columns each week, we appreciate it. I shall continue to try and give you as much basic information to try and make your relations better or to fix it. All this information is basic I know, but if you don’t know this it could save your marriage if you take it serious, so once again thanks to everyone. And thanks to all those who send in their questions, because it is from your communication to me that I can write this column.

So this week we are talking about Financial transparency. If you are fighting with your spouse over money you could be doing more damage than you realise. It has been said that 35% of marriages get into trouble or divorce because of financial issues. This is so unnecessary people, let’s see if we can avoid all this.

Fights with your spouse are never easy, and married couples who disagreed about money once a week were twice as likely to divorce as those who differed less than once a month. This is partly because money arguments encompass more than just finances. “Money doesn’t just represent money; it represents love, power, control, self-esteem and freedom.

Money decisions are personal decisions, which is why they can lead to nasty fights. When it comes to money, many couples are blinded by their own views on spending and saving /how-to-save-by-spending>, and often can’t see or understand their partner’s perspective. “We always think our own way of looking at money is the best, and it creates a tug-and-pull inside the relationship. Communication is key to resolving money issues. Gaining a better understanding of your partner’s financial habits will enable you to prevent arguments the-money-conversation-all-couples-should-have> with your spouse over money—or at least quell them before they escalate. If you’re not open with your spouse about your finances, it’s very hard to have an intimate relationship.

Be financially transparent. Financial transparency is the foundation of good communication.

This I know is very hard for men, I don’t know why. Many men do not mind telling their wives what their salary is; but they do not want to tell them of the other income they are getting from deals, etc. This is a dangerous mindset, men, because it opens your wife to suspicions of affairs and on your end, if you are being dishonest with your other finances, what else are you being dishonest in?

Being honest about your finances from the start of your marriage, including any debt you carry from when you were single. You must understand that many singles have debt, but when you marry that debt become a marital debt which will prevent you from moving forward smoothly, for example, will enable you and your spouse to avoid our marriage financial infidelity.

If you find that your partner has significant debt, I would suggest that before you sign the certificate you assist your partner with working out a plan to pay back the debt, especially for women, once you change your name, you also become a joint owner of the debt.

Once you are married establish a budget. Creating a budget for you and your spouse will take the guesswork out of your money arguments. “A budget gives you factual information. A lot of arguments around money have to do with assumptions and emotions. But if you have a budget, you can take a look strictly at the numbers, which will enable you to have a fact-based discussion about any disagreements. Even if one spouse doesn’t stick exactly to the budget, having one in place creates an expectation of how much each of you should be spending. Just be sure to allow some wiggle room for discretionary purchases What do I mean by discretionary purchases? I’m not talking about expenses for a “Mistress” or a “Toyboy”.Everybody is going to have something they want to buy that the other person thinks is not necessary. Each person needs a certain amount of money that they don’t have to explain where they spent it. If you have a budget that’s too constricting, people have a hard time sticking to it.

Also if one partner makes a whole lot more money than the other; it might be a plan to work your budget in a way that the main breadwinner takes care of major accounts such as rent, school fees. etc, and then the other partner takes care of maybe electricity or water, etc. A different type of budget could be that there is only one breadwinner. In this case this person carries all the payments, but should also give the non-earning spouse pocket money that they can use as they please without having to account for it, which is different from the main budget. Another way to budget especially if you make similar cash is to put money into one account that amounts to the total debts and maybe savings.

Anastasia can be messaged on 0772 933 845.