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Tendai Rupapa Senior Reporter
FIRST Lady Dr Auxillia Mnangagwa last week took her male engagement session to Mashonaland East province, making it her 10th provincial stop with the educative programme that seeks to encourage men to undergo regular health checks and help fight gender-based violence (GBV), drug abuse and immorality, among other challenges affecting communities.
The event was oversubscribed, attracting thousands of men, women and youths, including 26 traditional chiefs from Mashonaland East.
During the meeting, there were disclosures by health experts that men often presented late for treatment and were not keen on having HIV tests or any other health checks.
The First Lady, who is grounded in the country’s norms and values, sought the men’s permission to address them.
“I start by humbly asking to stand before you with respect as a woman. Allow me to stand before you as we discuss issues affecting our families. We are on a mission to build and mend relations collectively because a single bracelet does not jingle.
“As men you are heads of households and therefore let us assist each other as you give us ways of ending violence in homes. We want to build healthy homes full of peace and love. Are you aware of the increasing diseases and as a family are you being checked? Covid-19 came and is still there.
“People were vaccinated and now there is measles which is mostly affecting children. The Ministry of Health and Child Care said children must be vaccinated. HIV has always been there and men refuse to get tested waiting for women to be tested first. People must be checked on time and when found positive tell your partner and not take your pills from the pocket.
“There is prostate cancer and as men are you being checked? The cure for cancer is detection and early commencement of treatment. Being screened for diseases helps in family planning.
“What of violence? You see expecting women being bashed while some women beat their spouses. Men, when you are away the woman is your eye who must be loved and not beaten. Who are these children who are abusing drugs like mutoriro, guka and mbanje? Which country can be built by drunkards? Parents let us train our children because they are our future leaders. Men and women learn to communicate and discuss with children. Solve your differences amicably. Men must have time with boys and women with girls.
“Women are crying that you are dumping them for younger women, where is this coming from timbovhunzewo ana baba. What is causing this and today is your platform to say all that is on your heart. In the bedroom one party is sleeping on the floor and the other on the bed. Why? Divorce cases are increasing leading to child headed families, why? What should we do because children suffer in the event of divorce?” she said.
The First Lady’s remarks elicited a lot of responses.
One elderly man blamed violence in homes on women.
“Amai, our wives are the troublemakers. They no longer respect us, they are no longer submissive and no longer give us our conjugal rights saying they are old. On the bed, our grandchildren are placed in-between and they are always in the bedroom.
“If I look for a ‘small house’ outside, they make noise calling us dogs. If we bash them, they rush to report to the police,” he said.
Another speaker accused women of being too demanding.
“Our wives are too demanding and if you fail to provide, there will be noise in the home and sometimes when they shout at us, we fail to control ourselves and beat them. “Vakadzi vedu vemazuvano, they want material things,” he said.
Infidelity was also singled out as a contributory factor.
“Extra-marital affairs are destroying marriages because married women are cheating. They take their phones to the bathing room so that we don’t monitor them yet they want to stay with our phones. Some will say you were used to cheating, but the tables have turned, vanototi shiri yabvuta rekeni, indirectly telling us it’s their turn to cheat,” said a contributor, sending the gathering into stitches.
The First Lady asked the women if they accepted the accusations levelled against them.
“The issue of denying men conjugal rights is true. Some will be having spiritual husbands while some do so to fix cheating men. One other factor causing violence is that some men do not want you to wear make-up while their lovers out there wear make-up. We just do not know exactly what these men want,” she said.
Another female contributor concurred that women were talkative that they turned bedrooms into courtrooms.
Other women said some men were taking sexual stimulants that make them fear the bedroom.
The First Lady weighed in saying there was a need for communication in the homes.
“Let us communicate in peace. Love your spouses and allow them to do projects so that you raise the families together well,” she said.
Mashonaland East Provincial Affairs and Devolution Minister Aplonia Munzverengwi expressed gratitude to the First Lady for the male engagement session which she hoped would help lower the challenges of HIV/Aids in her province.
“Amai, the whole country, my province included, is grappling with HIV issues. Statistics from 2019, show that 50-year-old men and women and adolescents contracting HIV are increasing. Men do not want to be examined in time, resulting in the disease spreading. We are thankful for the programme you have brought urging men to always go for health checks. There is violence in the homes and we are glad you have come to discuss it with couples. As women we have also come to men’s engagement so that we answer to issues relating to us,” she said.
A National Aids Council representative reinforced the notion that men were reluctant to undergo health checks and provided statistics to back his claim.
“The First Lady as ambassador for health and Child Care, her programme seeks to advance gender equality and sexual reproductive health rights which are key ingredients in the achievement of the 95-95 targets. This initiative follows the recognition that while all the response has always had a deliberate focus on women due to their vulnerabilities men may have fallen through the cracks and therefore missed by the majority of our HIV prevention treatment services.
“Missing men with HIV services would lead to increased new infections thereby increasing the vulnerability of women who otherwise would have accessed services. The Zimbabwe HIV and Aids Strategic Plan 2021-2025 notes that four out of every 10 men have never tested for HIV and that while 80 percent of women have been tested for HIV and received their results 52 percent of men have been tested for HIV and have received results.
“This shows that men are still behind in terms of getting tested and receiving their results. Women are further ahead. In addition to this, the strategic plan also notes that 8 out of 10 men are not tested for HIV with their partners during PMTCT and only 17 to 23 percent of men accompany their partners during antenatal care. These statistics show a low level of participation of men and utilisation of available HIV prevention services.
“Evidence has also indicated that men are perpetrators of gender-based violence and harmful gender norms which exacerbate women and girls’ vulnerability to HIV. In view of this, NAC has been seized with addressing these service gaps and promoting the involvement of men in accessing available services such as HIV testing, male condom distribution, voluntary surgical male circumcision and others including enshrining an enabling environment for the gender transformation practices and eradication of gender-based violence,” he said.
Assistant Inspector Janet Amon, the District Victim Friendly Unit Coordinator said the rape of children and domestic violence were rife in the district.
“Looking at the causes, domestic violence is caused by untrustworthiness. This is also leading to loss of life and we want to counter this through dialogue like this dialogue brought by Amai. Child rape is also a huge challenge here in Murehwa District. Men no longer know their children; grandfathers are raping grandchildren. We encourage men to see children as children and not as women. We are saying no to gender based violence. Drug abuse is also contributing to domestic violence and the rape of minors. When people are drunk they commit crimes while doing as they please,” she said.
Chief Mangwende, Mr Taaziva Morgan Gatsi, said he felt like crying with joy because of the male engagement session and a detergent-making programme which the First Lady had conducted in the area.
“The way people are living in homes and what troubles communities, are the things you have come to address through this engagement Amai. These domestic violence issues are rife in our communities and we deal with them almost every day in our courts. We thank you for bringing these educational programmes to our people Amai,” he said.
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