Online Reporter
Pastor Sikhumbuzo Dube, [email protected]
Imagine touring a small village across the hills of Matobo. Nestled in the heart of a mountain was a tiny homestead that onlookers could despise. You find an old man with his wife, probably in their late 90s.
Both can’t remember when exactly they were born. Years have wrinkled their skin, but their hearts beam with teenage love. The lush valleys, the tiny rivers, the nearby swamps, and the rolling hills all have a story to tell about the couple’s love journey.
In the gentle embrace of twilight, the old man’s life unfolded like the pages of a cherished book, each chapter rich with warmth and unwavering friendliness.
His wife, a radiant soul, moved through the world with an aura of tranquillity, her presence a soothing balm in a chaotic universe. Together, they were inseparable, their bond so profound that people often mistook them for twins, a testament to their shared laughter and whispered secrets.
Yet, beneath the surface of their idyllic existence lay a quiet ache—the bitter-sweet sting of societal expectations that loomed like a shadow.
The world around them incessantly reminded them of the milestones they had not reached, the dreams of parenthood that swirled just out of reach.
They had walked hand-in-hand through the seasons of their lives, side by side, yet they carried a longing that echoed softly in their hearts—a longing for the sweet sounds of little voices to call them “mommy”and “daddy.”
They had danced through the years, vibrant yet untethered by the pitter-patter of tiny feet, embracing each other with profound and deeply poignant love, navigating a life filled with joy, companionship and the quiet acceptance of their singular journey.
In that vibrant moment, time seemed to stand still; the world faded away, and all that remained was the magnetic connection between their gazes. The air was thick with unspoken promises as he felt a spark igniting within him—her laughter, like distant chimes, echoed in his heart, forever inking that first encounter into his soul, cultivating an everlasting love that would flourish across the seasons of their lives together.
The old man discovered the secret of holy habits that bind partners in an irresistible bond of love.
Some regarded them as un-African, yet for him, they were the essence of his happiness in marriage. I will share seven habits that can transform married life.
Habit 1
Make it a habit to compliment your spouse, it is the spice to a romantic life.
Compliments can be likened to spices in cooking; they enhance the flavour of life, particularly in romantic relationships.
A genuine compliment can strengthen emotional connections between partners, reinforcing their bond of love and affection.
Just as spices elevate the taste of a dish, heartfelt words can transform ordinary moments into memorable experiences full of warmth and intimacy.
Habit 2
Make it a habit to think of your spouse, it thickens the protection wall against infidelity.
The phrase, “out of sight, out of mind,” is often used to express the idea that people tend to forget about things or individuals that are not physically present.
However, this sentiment should not apply to marriage. Once a man matures from boyhood into manhood and embraces the role of a husband, it becomes essential for him to continually consider and cherish his wife, both in thought and in action.
This ongoing mental presence can foster a deeper emotional connection and strengthen the bond between partners.
Habit 3
Make it a habit to flirt with your spouse, it fattens the love molecules.
As the sun dipped in the western sky, painting the world in gold and crimson, the old man was enchanted by her charm. Their conversation flowed like a warm river, rich with passion as they explored their cultures and celebrated their heritage through art and storytelling.
A warmth blossomed within him, ignited by her presence. It felt as if the roots of a tree entwined with his soul, pulling them closer in an invisible embrace, drawing them into a world where time stood still.
They exchanged sweet words and teased each other, making this their lifestyle even in old age. Flirting should not be limited to dating; it must continue throughout married life.
Habit 4
Make it a habit to care for your spouse; it caresses the inner being.
The care given before marriage should not fade when the knot is tied. It should be stronger when the marriage is solemnised. The wedding is not an arrival but the starting line. Care communicates deep love for the other person.
Habit 5
Make it a habit to share sweet nothings with your spouse, it activates excellent “somethings”.
Sweet nothings can be verbal or non-verbal. For instance, holding hands in public communicates a deep connection without any words.
Playful words should spice up a continuous romantic life. They should not be reserved solely for sexual encounters but should permeate every aspect of love.
Habit 6
Make it a habit to praise your spouse publicly, it prolongs their inner pride.
There are people who thrive on praising other people for personal gain, sometimes for stealing their hearts. This often happens in workplaces.
Your spouse should not improve their pride by receiving praise from colleagues at work or school; this makes them vulnerable to them.
You should be the source of inner pride by publicly praising your spouse.
Habit 7
Make it a habit to pray for your spouse, it protects them from “preying” prowlers. Prayer can snatch your spouse from the jaws of vicious prowlers.
Some are ready to pounce on your wife even if you are romantic. Prayer will put a hedge of protection around her.
Let us utilise these holy habits, they are a secret to happy husbandhood.
Pastor Sikhumbuzo Dube is a chaplain, counsellor, marriage coach and founder of Shunem Care, a ministry to the involuntarily childless and emotionally wounded. He has published several articles on spiritual care, mental health, chaplaincy and involuntary childlessness.
