Get in control of your life

coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands and your career or family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think.
In fact, the simple realisation that you are in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.
Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun — plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges effectively.
Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life.
This is not as easy as it sounds.
Your true sources of stress are not always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
Sure, you may know that you are constantly worried about work deadlines.
But maybe it is your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.
There seems to be a lot of people advising affected people on how to cope with stress and some of the advice, to say the least, is irrational. I heard on ZBC one time a lady advocating that we should be positive about issues.
That was fine. But she went on to say, “If you tell yourself you can do it you are right. If you tell yourself you cannot do it you are right too.”
This is plainly illogical. Imagine someone convincing themselves they can fly. If they try one consequence is certain because God did not adapt us for flying. On a more practical issue, some drivers drink too much and then believe they can drive safely with the result, often, that people get killed.
In fact the South African Minister of Social Development, Bathabile Dlamini, says that in South Africa, in 2010, 50percent of the drivers who died in road crashes had a blood alcohol concentration way over the limit (which is 0.08g/dl in Zimbabwe which is about the same as two and a half glasses of 4 percent beer).
So, on practical ways to deal with stress we offer the following advice:
Look at how you currently cope with stress.
Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive?
Unfortunately, many people try to cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.
Unhealthy ways of coping with stress.
These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:
Smoking, drinking too much, overeating or undereating, zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer, withdrawing from friends, family, and activities, using pills or drugs to relax, sleeping too much, procrastinating, filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems, taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence) Learning healthier ways to manage stress
If your methods of coping with stress are not contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it is time to find healthier ones.
There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change.
You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it is helpful to think of the four A’s: Avoid, Alter, Adapt or Accept. Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies.
Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.
To be continued