Ghetto Blast: Parties should be memorable, incident-free

footloose husband who was hurling expletives at people, on the other.
The elegantly-dressed fellow had wetted his suit while his unsteady and uneven gait showed he had had one too many.
His cheek and bobbled speech passed him off for someone drowned by Bacchus, the god of wine.
As the three walked to the bus stop, the man would relieve himself by the roadside and forget to up his zipper.
Each time he coughed, the wife would scurry for cover for fear of having her blouse spoilt with vomit.
All this in public glare and worse still in his son’s presence. Oh, how unfatherly this father figure had become?
A case of a big brother behaving badly!
Anguish was written all over the woman’s face as she struggled to control the two males.
She also had a handbag and a doggybag to contend with.
Matters took a head at the light-controlled intersection where her husband lost balance and fell on the tarmac while the boy – who looked barely seven – ran in front of oncoming traffic.
The situation was only saved by an understanding motorist who drove the woman and her male troubles home without further incident.
Whatever form of payment the motorist got for his benevolence constitutes debate for another day.
Such are the goings on at this time of the year when people are awash with cash. Buying power is high and this is a time when people can either make or unmake themselves.
As the year draws to an end, individuals and firms are throwing parties.
And there is every reason to be merry. What after a full year of hardwork, service and sacrifice?
But, the way some people behave at parties leaves a lot to be desired.
Instead of taking the occasion as an opportunity to meet family, friends and learn new things, some people steal the show for the completely wrong reasons.
“Benson haaite. If you invite him to a party, you risk embarrassment.
“He uses bad language and at times beats up people even when he is not wronged,” I heard certain people saying in Glen Norah last weekend.
They went on to justify why some people hide information about their parties even from their siblings.
“Ukamutaurira unonyadziswa ukafa. Ngaagare ega, ini ndotamba yangu,” one guy said.
Some people actually make others question the wisdom behind throwing a party in the first place.
There are characters who when they attend a party, they make sure they steal something from a beer, plate, spoon or food.
CDs are also not safe from such characters.
Scores of ghetto boys spoil parties because of an undying edge in them to be noticed.
They want almost everyone to see how drunk they can be and end up causing unnecessary problems on their way home.
Countless characters think anything in dresses should be bedded and they end up approaching married women whose husbands normally respond violently each time their resilience is tested in the most difficult way.
There is a clique of people, which takes parties as occasions to settle old scores. This group uses every opportunity to provoke others and trigger violence.
Passing bad statements or priding oneself in ridiculing others is a typical example of how people should never behave at a party.
When it comes to food, you lose nothing by taking only the things you can finish.
There is no harm in leaving a chunk of roasted meat on the braai stand if you do not take beef or if you are full.
Some people upset their tummies and end up feeling uncomfortable by eating whatever they can lay their hands on including raw food.
Kana nyama isati yaibva, haisati yaibva, mira iibve wozodya.
Attention seekers always get the tough going at parties.
These guys drink all sorts of wines and even those they have never consumed before resulting in them getting drunk all too quickly and making fools of themselves.
If you have no girlfriend, it does not do you any good to take someone’s wife to a party because when the husband returns he might spoil an otherwise good day for another people.
Taking a girlfriend to a party is an equally bad idea if you are married. Someone who knows your real wife might phone her up and the consequences will not be desirable.
No one has ever been arrested for keeping quiet at a party. If you have nothing to say, just keep to yourself at least no one will count your teeth or realise how foolish you are.
Parties are also not places to settle old scores. Avoiding someone who scolded your mum in pre-school or stole your candy at breaktime kumusha is harmless.
Let’s strive to make our parties memorable, incident-free and violent free.