Sundaymail Editor
Changing Perspectives
Rutendo Gwatidzo
DO not allow the pressure of those eating their harvest cause you to eat your seed.
If you understand that life is lived on levels but arrived at in stages, then you will know that is it just a matter of time before you harvest your own seed.
First things should come first.
You need to plant that seed so that it grows, multiplies and then you can harvest.
There are many times in life when it appears like some people are always harvesting without having to plant.
In most cases, someone would have done the planting for them, hence do not skip the process in wanting to be like someone else whom you are not.
Although a significant number of people actually believe that peer pressure ends when a person becomes an adult, that is not the case. Adults are also subject to peer pressure as much as the youth.
Peer pressure is when one tries to conform to some form of uniform code in order to be like someone else or a group of people.
Peer pressure is not always bad, actually; it is the pressure of our peers that pushes us from the comfort zone to do things we otherwise wouldn’t have done.
However, it has to be under control so that we do not end up doing things that are not right, all because we want to fit in.
Good peer pressure is supportive as it understands the process to becoming.
The moment you see yourself or the moment your peers encourage you to skip stages in ways that are not proper, then you should know that the time to disengage would have arrived.
Think about it!
Allow me to pause this question to you: Whose version of reality are you going to live? Most people think they are free when they are actually bound, they are confined by the world that they actually live.
Many people want to be their own version but they are controlled by media and many other people around them.
What is most important is to be able to keep it under control.
Conformity threatens self-awareness and it is not a pleasant trait to possess.
When you say yes to others then make sure that you are not constantly saying no to yourself. Resist unhealthy peer pressure.
The world is and will always try to make us something else, but being able to remain true to yourself and ability to be the best version of yourself is one of the greatest accomplishments in life.
Danger comes when you are not aware of who you are.
At some point in life you need to know who you are, what defines you and what you stand for. Once you understand that, then you should put principles and values around who you are so that they help in guiding you and sustaining you from negative peer pressure.
What I see!
I have come across many talented people in the workplace who end up losing it because of peer pressure, and it pains my heart.
Great things take time to build.
Rome was not built in one day.
Great Zimbabwe was not built in one day.
The wow buildings that we stand in awe of today were not built in one day.
The great businesses that we talk of today were not built in one day.
I wonder then why someone thinks they can build an empire within a month of joining an organisation. A good number join organisations hoping that after about three months all their pressures would have been wiped way.
The moment they realise that the pressures are still there, they then move to another organisation and may keep moving until they lose it in the process and put talent to waste.
Honestly, how can you want to have the same benefits that someone who has been with the organisation for over ten years has when you just arrived two months ago?
Why don’t you focus on doing what you do best so that your talent then makes room for you to be whom you aspire to be?
I came across many in the workplace who ended up stealing and doing all sorts of wrong things due to peer pressure in the workplace. Someone needs to understand that the primary purpose of the workplace is to showcase your skills and talents, and then friendship is a benefit as you do that.
If you put your focus on friends first, you are likely to lose it because what they do and say will have control over you, yet some of the friends are like Judas Iscariot from the Bible.
“Do not trust everyone who smiles at you or shows you affection. Jesus Christ was betrayed with a kiss, the epitome of affection…” (Extract from the book Born to Fight) Not everyone is your friend, especially in the workplace.
Be very careful.
Some may give you advice for doom so that when you go they take your place.
I only gave the workplace as an example; however, this applies in almost every set-up.
I encourage you to do what you do best so that you create a lasting legacy.
In many instances, conforming to what you are not does not end well.
Be the best version of yourself.
Rutendo Gwatidzo is a culture change strategist. She has over 10 years’ experience operating as an HR consultant focusing on training and change management. She’s also a speaker, a mentor and an author of the book ‘Born To Fight.’ Contact details:0714575805/ [email protected] / Rutendo Gwatidzo official fb public page.
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