adminDeputy Commissioner General in the Zimbabwe Republic Police and passed on in November last year.
The function was well organised, well attended and I must say befitting the person Barbara was. The occasion saw the Mandizha family handing over a floating trophy to the Africa Leadership
Management Academy (ALMA), where Barbara did her Master of Arts in Leadership and Management.
ALMA, we learnt is an institution of higher learning that seeks to not only give students an academic qualification, but also build leaders of integrity who can spearhead the spiritual, moral, social and economic transformation of Africa and beyond.
The award is an initiative of the Mandizha family to, among other things, celebrate the life of Barbara as an accomplished leader in the public sector; and also demonstrate to other leaders that a value-driven life of integrity is possible in Zimbabwe and Africa today.
By running the award under the auspices of ALMA the family is testifying to the impact that the institution had on her life and therefore celebrating that connection of values. The occasion was blended with testimonies, and part of them recorded on DVD, poetry and music. The function was a reflective one.
Watching and listening to Barbara’s journey and her accomplishments made one ask oneself whether they have made any contribution to humanity at all in their world. I recall after the function one lady
saying that she felt as if she has just been occupying space. Thus she testified that she had been challenged to go out there and make a difference. I believe she was not the only one.
Well, one thing that I also found challenging was the response of Barbara’s family to the adversity. I thought that was great and thoughtful. It is also something that perhaps is not very common with people of my kind. Similar stories that I have heard are from people who are of European decent.
There are some who use disability, death or illness of a loved one to create institutions or come up with initiatives that support people in similar circumstances in many possible ways.
Let me digress a bit and ask how that can be considering that Westerners are more individualistic in their outlook and Africans more community oriented.
Could it be our “lack of action” is due to our beliefs surrounding adversity – illness, death and more? We still have a lot to learn and a long way to go. The family chose to do something about their grief that would not only ensure that her legacy lives on but also encourage others to live worthy lives.
I believe that such a positive response to grief is a milestone in the bereavement process. All the time that they took putting together the day must have helped them to confront the reality of their loss. Bereavement is process with shock and denial characterising the early stages before reality sets in. In counselling, they say that knowing or understanding your loss helps the bereaved to re-organise their lives and also invest in new relationships.
The problem is when one gets stuck in a phase because that has serious repercussions on a life. David, in Psalm 23 says “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” This means that we still have to live our lives despite the tribulations that befall us.
Hard, I must say, because calamity threatens to take away our will to live. Adversity in whatever form, kind of gives that wilderness experience where you feel alone, exposed and vulnerable. Situations and people can send us to that wilderness. Sometimes our fears, worries and attitudes take us to the desert. A good example is the Prophet Elijah in 1Kings 18, afraid of Jezebel took himself
into the wilderness and wished God could kill him. I think the wilderness that situations or other people take you is better than the one that you take yourself. I suppose it is much easier to shrug off pressures from elsewhere than rising above what your mind tells you. It makes you surrender to defeat and also close off the encouragement or support from others around you. While in the desert Elijah wallowed in self-pity as he was gripped with the victim mentality. He also made the mistake of thinking that he was special as he told God that he was the only one left.
Many of us identify with him in the ways that we respond to adversity. Sometimes we choose to feel pity for ourselves and by so doing become disempowered or disabled by circumstances. Victim mentality can also cause us to complain and grumble because life has treated us unfairly. Sometimes it seems it has, when we consider all these things that befall us. Whatever calamity that comes our
way it should make us stronger and the end product of the suffering should be character. There are some however who emerge from a situation with a double portion of strength and hope.
Some people have said that the drive to keep the legacy going in the case of loss of a loved one gives them the impetus to live. Experiences have taught me that our survival should come from drawing on inner strength that I believe is our God-given coping mechanism. In my world and perhaps in yours, the Mandizha family has become a trailblazer and we can learn from this experience.
Online Reporter