adminAnne Ruthenburg Wedding Doctor
HELLO there folks, it is cooooold, but we should not be worried because summer will surely come.
This week, I received a message from a lady who said she tries hard not to shout or lose her temper with her husband, but he never seems to listen. She said the husband deliberately seems to ignore the things she says even if they are simple things.
She said she usually ends up doing it all on her own, which then makes her angry and shout. She said what amazes her is that other people such as his friends and family never have to ask twice for him to assist them, he is so quick to come to their aid. She said she has days when she feels he does not love her at all.
Oh shame my dear! You are not alone in this unfortunately, but I endeavoured to ask a few married men what this issue is all about and this is the feedback I received from them. I spoke to about 20 different guys from different walks of life and different races. From the feedback I listed, the common ones that seemed to resonate with guys across the races and other divides are as follows:
Fixing things – The problem with wives is that before we marry them they are so peaceful and fun to be with. They hardly demand anything except money and spending time with us. We are free to come and go with our friends as long as we honour our time with them.
All of a sudden when we get married, they want this fixed and that fixed and this replaced and that fixed. ..
Emptying the bin – Ahhhh, I do not want to lie, I hate emptying the dustbin, why can’t wives just make a plan. Every day I am told to empty the bin, seriously this is not what men come home each day to do. I would seriously pay someone to do that if she promised me she would use the money for that. When she asks me to empty the bin, honestly I switch off. I find myself ignoring and not answering, or I will answer in the positive, but forget about it. I can’t wait for the kids to grow up so that they can have duties emptying the bin and the like.
Boys timeout – you know what, we husband wish our wives did not even start making this an issue. There is nothing that kills a man more than knowing his boys are having fun without him on that special day each week. It is not like we are asking for an “all night” although we wouldn’t mind that. All we are saying is that, we as men need time with our buddies, to re-group and remind ourselves that even though as husbands we are required to into our softer side at home, we can still be rough and tough out there with our buddies, without some woman saying “stop it, you are hurting him” or “you guys are so rough”. Seriously babes that’s what we are . . . rough and tough!
Laundry Basket – Wives listen to us! Leaving the socks on the floor should not cause you so much anger really. It is not like we do it deliberately, we simply remove our shoes and socks and that is where they stay. It does not even cross our minds that we need to go all the way to the bathroom to throw the sock into the basket. Maybe if you put the clothes basket in the bedroom, I might remember to put the socks in the basket, but even if I do not, is it such a burden for you to put the socks in the basket for me, your man who spends the whole day looking for money to ensure you live an acceptable standard? How can you be so angry over a pair of socks which goes for $1 on the ground when I bring in hundreds if not thousands of dollars for you.
Washing underwear – it is expected that our wives wash our socks and underwear. Who then do you expect to wash it – the maid? Then you want to get mad when the husband starts to have an affair with the maid. What do you expect wife, after all she is acting like more of a wife than you are.
She cleans for me, she cooks for me, she washes everything I wear, she irons everything I wear. The only difference then between here and you at home is that she does not give me sex . . . trust me if she is attractive enough and yielding, it will not take long for a weaker man to sleep with her – that’s what it is.
Addictions – Look, we admit when men start drinking there are very few men who can control themselves, especially in environments where there are no boundaries. We do not support men who sleep around or have affairs, it is not what we encourage, ask any man even a man who is cheating unless he is stupid. So can we advice those women whose husband are handling the alcohol or smoking to not bother them . . . would you rather they spend their time sleeping around.
But for those women whose men are having affairs or whose men are beating them after smoking stuff or drinking alcohol, we would suggest you do not put up with it. Men that do that are cowards…in fact if you let us know which man is beating his wife, we can send the boys from the hood to give him a taste of his own medicine. Also it is a shame that even in innocent places where men are just gathering to have fun, nowadays you now have loose women parading themselves around. What do we do, after-all apart from home, any public place now seems to have these women – society’s moral ground has really broken down.
Squeezing the toothpaste – Really ladies, really? The paste has to come out anyway, so whether we start squeezing from the bottom or the top, it is all the same to us. Is it necessary for you to give us the silent treatment because we started squeezing from the middle?
To be continued next week . . .
Well, there you have it part of what men had to say about why they don’t seem to listen or do the things we as women think are important. Until next week God bless!
◆ Wedding Doctor can be messaged/watsapped on 0772 933 845 or email: [email protected].
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