adminTete – Good day, Please publish this for me, maybe I can be helped. This might seem like it is not a problem, but it has been troubling me for some time now. I am a girl aged 25 and I am single, meaning I don’t have a boyfriend. What gets to me is that wherever I walk, whether it is in the church, in the hood or in public transport people always call me mother.
I don’t want to lie, this really gets to me because at times I will be at places where I think I will find a suitor yet even the potential suitors just greet me with mother makadii. When I am alone, I begin to ponder if I am too fat or I look older than my age, maybe I should be married or maybe I should wear trousers because I don’t.
What should I do for people to look at me as a single unmarried woman, not a mother? Even anahwindi vemakombi if they see me, they ask: ‘Town here mother?’, aah, how I hate it. Will I ever get a husband when people see me as married already?
Answer
Well, sometimes those who call you mother will be giving you respect. It is not something to be so much worried about. Don’t change your taste of clothes because of petty reasons. The trick thing is to dress your age, zviri classy in your taste of clothes iyoyo, dont change. I am sure you dress decently. Keep it up, however, when I read your story, I discovered that confidence, confidence, confidence my dear is lacking in the manner in which you carry yourself.
As I read through your post, I picked somehow a low self-esteemed young lady, someone not really sure of her beauty, someone who relies more on compliments from third parties concerning her beauty. You do not know yourself that you are so beautiful.
Maybe that is why you now think that maybe your body is big.
My dear, carry yourself as a queen, walk so and talk so. Don’t wait for people’s approval that you look good or you are beautiful, no dear. Get it in your head that you are young, tender, sweet and good looking.
Let the third parties simply remind you of your beauty. It is not about age, your body, but it is all about confidence. Wearing trousers like you said does not stop people from calling you mother. In fact, trousers do not even help. If only you knew that as women we look more feminine n sweet in our classy dresses n nice fitting skirts not necessarily slacks. Trousers do not make anyone look young and pretty.
Invest in nice fitting clothes and always dress your age my sister. There is nothing wrong to be called mother, for it is not a derogatory term, but a term used to describe a dignified woman.
Tete – I left for the Diaspora and I arranged for my husband to join me. He came and we went on to have a son. Things were fine until he got involved with his ex- girlfriend who is also here in the Diaspora. He left me and went to live with her.
I begged and cried for him to come back, but he refused and told me he had realised he was still in love with his ex. I eventually accepted and moved on.
It is now five years later and he has applied for indefinite leave to remain and this has to involve me since I am the one who brought him over. He called me and asked me to help. I have refused and all his family are calling me a witch, a hard-hearted woman.
I am getting messages one after the other. I will not do it. He used me to come over to England and he will not repeat it on me ever. To make matters worse when he left he turned his back even on his son. I have moved on. I accepted that he is with someone else, but will never ever again be with him. I feel better after putting it down.
Answer
It is sad my dear that this man left you for the other woman who happens to be his former wife. Life is not of us but of the UNCOMPREHENSIBLE creator. It is possible to leave this man to look out for ways to sort himself out. He will find ways eventually, but it won’t be easy for him.
You could help him and it will be easy for him, but either way he will be sorted. However, I know deep inside you have love for this guy despite disappointing you. That is, however, besides my point. My point is do not carry unforgiveness over this guy who also happens to be the father of your son. You need to walk free after all this. Helping him or not is entirely up to you.
First if you help him and forgive him, you will be able to move on completely and you will open up your heart to the next guy who is going to come into your life.
If you don’t help him, it will be difficult to forgive him and it keeps your heart occupied with negativity from this encounter and does not open your heart up for the next love that is going to walk into your life. I believe what you need right now is the choice that will help you move on freely with a heart that is ready to receive and also give. All the best dear.
Online Reporter