Andrew
Boyfriend repossessed my property
Amai, how are you? I am 30 years old and I have been dating a short-tempered and controlling guy for the past three years. He is 32 and behaves like a baby. He throws tantrums and uses bad language. He bought me a television set and a double bed. Each time we argue, he wants his things back.
I asked in passing when we would get married and that simple question made him explode.
He told me that he did not want to be pushed or told what to do. I just thought it was one of those days, only to be shocked when he brought a truck to pick up the property.
I am heartbroken and I am now sleeping on the floor. I feel greatly humiliated. He sent a message a few days ago that he now wants us to talk about marriage.
I really do not know what to say considering his character and looking at my advanced age. Please advise.
Response
Hello dear writer and thanks for writing in. You are right in that your significant other behaves immaturely.
In the event that you want to work on these issues, you need to go for pre-marital counselling so you can get to the root cause of it all.
Taking away the gifts he bought you was much uncalled for and left you at a disadvantage. Once you give someone a gift, it is his or hers and you have no claim over it. I am also detecting some control issues.
More so, it is unfortunate that this has become a trend.
What is to say it will not happen again in the case that he buys you a car? I would encourage you to purchase your own property and assets to avoid such humiliation.
Your boyfriend clearly has communication problems.
Unless he agrees to get professional help and shows committed effort to change, you are both wasting your time. Do not feel rushed. Age is but a number. Do what feels right. I wish you all the best.
******
Hubby accused of theft
I am 25 years old and my husband is 24. We are blessed with a two-year-old son. Baba loves soccer with all his heart, but does not want us to invest in a television set.
During the AFCON tournament, he would go door-to-door in our neighbourhood asking for permission to watch soccer in other people’s houses.
He frequently went to our immediate neighbours place because they seemed accommodating.
Amai, after the finals, the couple came to our cottage to tell us why it is not a good thing to go and disturb other people in their homes in the name of soccer.
We were treated like fools. They allege that a cellphone went missing and they suspect that my husband took it, so they want it replaced or they will make it a police case.
What do we do? My hubby says he never touched it and we do not have any money to replace it.
Response
Hello writer. I can detect the hurt in your letter. Your husband needs to understand that you cannot just go to people’s houses, especially in the name of watching TV. TV sets are affordable and can be paid over six to 24-month instalments.
You desperately need to get your own set or he should go to places such as bars where he can watch and not disturb anyone’s peace. If he claims he did not touch the phone, then let them make it a police case. The investigation will set him free.
Try to reason with him using this issue as an example of why it is critical to have your own TV set.
Something tells me he is now more than willing to invest in one of his own. You also need to persuade him that you and the baby would also benefit from this asset. He needs to consider the whole family and not just himself.
******
I want to date a slay queen
I am a young man aged 22. I am single and I just started work in town. I was born and bred in the rural areas and I went to mission schools right through.
I do not have much knowledge about town life. I rent a two-roomed cottage in the ghetto and I feel so independent.
I have not accomplished much because I started work last year in November. There is a woman at work I have a crush on and I do not know what to do.
She is a single mother, beautiful as a picture and she drives a modern car. I asked a fellow male colleague if there was anything wrong with me dating this woman.
He laughed his lungs out before he told me that she was not my type.
She is 35 and everyone calls her a slay queen at work. I do not mind the age difference.
I want her to be my first girlfriend, Amai. I told my big brother about this supergirl and he said no. I think all these people are wrong and jealous. Please help.
Response
I am glad you are enjoying life in the city. You have a lot to accomplish. I think your colleague and brother are within reason when they tell you that you are out of your depth with this woman, in terms of life experiences mostly.
I think you are infatuated with the idea of dating this woman, and nothing more. Take it slow. You barely know anything about her.
As far as dating is concerned, try and study people’s interests and their personalities.
Once you have established if you are compatible, you make your move. It is true, romance is not always dictated by finances, but you just started working and she seems to have her life figured out.
I would think someone on the same level as you whom you can build with would present a more fulfilling partnership.
Take your time; slow and steady wins the race. I would be happy to hear back from you.
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