‘In the eye of the beholder’

This Week’s Word
Beauty, it is said, is in the eye of the beholder. One wonders then how most women give all they have and even more just to look beautiful. After all those who look on may be impressed – or not!

Often times, society mistakes beauty and pretty.

Pretty is something that is fleeting, temporary like a hairstyle. Anything that is bound to change with time or use, say skin, face or body is pretty. Beauty on the other hand comes from deep within a person. It is a quality one can’t take away. It is permanent. Something one can’t copy.

Most of us look for beauty in the wrong places. Young women long to be admired and end up offering their bodies to whoever looks at them a minute longer than is polite.

They sacrifice themselves just to hear a few words of how they are knock-outs. They borrow, steal or manipulate others just to be recognised, just to stand out and be admired. These days some even leave the house half-naked just to get attention.

Let us pause and reflect. What does the Word of God say about beauty? “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes.

Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV. I’d say the pressure should ease up. True beauty is not really about your get-up, expensive jewellery, Brazilian weave, Peruvian hair or the latest braids. Invest your money elsewhere.

Mould your character around the Word of God. Better still your character should be moulded by the Word and you will be a beauty. Oh there is a price to pay alright.

Absorb this: “…and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendour.” Isaiah 61:3.

The passage suggests a process of pain and brokenness that one has to go through before the crown of beauty.

One does not grab jars of expensive potions and lotions to apply then emerge as beautiful. No, that makes you pretty.

One experiences grief, loss, sacrifice then remembers that there is a God in Heaven who is a healer of broken hearts. We “fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith”. Hebrews 12:2.

If we fix our eyes on the world then we will definitely be confused and dissatisfied by our appearances. There is too much pressure on us from our peers.

We ought to set standards of whom to look up to. Our God does not change.

Unfortunately, the definition of beauty changes rapidly. One can never keep up with it.

One might ask how we ought to dress. It is written, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12. Well, there you have it.

Some serious character building and well assembled closet there. The passage continues; “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity”. Colossians 3:13-14.

The Bible clearly spells out that we ought to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, love and unity.

This is the basic wardrobe prescribed which we ought not to step out of our homes without every day. These are qualities that can never go out of fashion.

Material possessions are enslaving us to debt and loss of integrity. We walk the walk of shame after our loved ones are caught stealing trinkets, make-up and clothing. O, the humiliation….!

John 8:32 states, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” We should not be desperate to possess that which we cannot afford. Most of what we really want is not what we actually need. Television, magazines and social media have really distorted the truth and made people walk around like zombies collecting trouble and diseases from skin lightening lotions and pills.

Women really over-do it (can some recognise themselves in the mirror?). True beauty is found in the Lord, Psalm 27:4.