In which we do nothing but laugh, then cry

Bar Talk with Bra Gee

If you have not laughed these past two weeks, then you have zero sense of humour. Even if you were waiting in the queue for roller-meal and did not get any, you should have laughed anyway.

Then cried a bit at this tragicomedy that we call life. Because you have to wonder if the whole world is going mad around you, or if you are the one going mad.

Rob from the rich, not the hood

Should theft be rewarded? That is the million-dollar question still trending from last week. Now that the thieving teacher is a celebrity beneficiary, can the rest of the teachers start stealing and some hood will come and reward them?

Well, I am not an advocate of supreme positions of right and wrong. So I will not be saying whether or not the benefactors of the thieving teacher that put their money where their mouths are should have gone and buy pizza for their children instead. I will also not be saying the loud-mouths who are quick to pontificate about other people’s generous gestures while they make none themselves should just shut up and go home.

My contribution is to just point out that most people who do urban farming on whatever scrap of land that they can sink their hoe into, are not rich by any measure. They are also struggling for food security. So when someone decides to steal from them, this to me seems rather selfish. Because the person that you are stealing from is probably going without some meals each day.

So in other words, if you really must steal, then go for the rich. At least the big supermarket can absorb a few losses which it will charge on its rich customers anyway.

Stinking dust

The roller meal debacle began last year soon after the Finance Minister announced the removal of the grain subsidy, a public donation was made, presumably bigger private donations were also made. And the result? Roller meal suddenly became the new gold.

Your favourite bar fly pointed out that this whole thing stank to high heaven and that predicated that things would get worse before they got better. Lo and behold. Here we are asking questions. Where did the money go? How did more keep on getting paid without the payers asking to verify that the money that they were paying was really being used for the reason that they had paid for?

But back then at the end of last year, Bra Gee said that beneath the dust raised by the grinding mills lay something rotten. The stench was clearly discernible. And it seems to be growing stronger. And no amount of air freshener will make it go away. Until the rotten object is removed, I fear that we must live with rotten smell in the form of maize meal shortage and non-jokes like the Roller Meal Committee and Roller Meal Registration.

Lambs to the slaughter

We had yet another series of exposes against a “man of god”. This one across a river that marks the border. Yawn! We will enjoy the details of payouts. We will pore over the minute titbits of sexual exploits. But what really is new here?

Nothing! Nothing at all. Because we all know how the story ends. The prophet will weather the storm. Because there are always enough of Papa’s children. Who will fight this blasphemy of their god by going to seed even more than they originally intended. There are female Papa’s children who will go to the prophet and offer themselves on a platter.

Then a few months from now these people will return to us and try to convince us that they are victims of a con artist. Nonsense! Absolute hogwash! There will be no sympathy from us. The only genuine victims were those who were tricked by the first prophet. The rest are just idiots who deserve everything that they get. You can tell them I said so, next time they try to tell you their sob stories.

Status update

Balance me here, fellow drinkers. What on earth was the gigolo singer crying about? Did he not say that he is not infected? Surely he should have been celebrating.

First of all, what possible angle of public interest can there possibly be in the health and sex lives of private individuals who are not living on public funds? Why should we care? It is not as if the whole world is planning to sleep with either of the two.

And anyway, back to the crying man. Get me right. I don’t think it takes anything away from a man to cry. In fact, I think man who are brave enough to cry are the real deal, just like women who are still brae enough to cry. The only question is what do we cry about?

We can cry about the victims of natural and man-made disasters, victims of crime, orphaned children, old people who are living in destitution and even about poor thieving teachers and cops. But we shall not cry after we exercise our legitimate right to do what we like with our private parts then we refuse to take responsibility for it.

People should not waste our expensive data bundles with such nonsense. We would rather reserve them for more important things. Like downloading sex tapes.

What is the real story?

Again balance me quickly. What is the real story behind the beef between the juvenile “man of god” more famous for his childish antics than any good works and the entrepreneur — to use the term loosely- who is of interest to the law? Could it be a case of two wastrels trying to get occupations?

The rants of the “man of god” seem to be getting weirder and weirder. Add to that all the other things like setting up a whole recording label to do a song about faeces in the city. And we could be witnessing a fast spiral into insanity.

One for the road

Now that our neighbours got their knock in the night giving us a rude awakening, corona jokes don’t seem so funny, right?

Skal!