Is sex after marriage still practical ?

I was asking different men if they can handle the idea of not having sex before marriage if they are dating women who are not virgins . We have so many women who might have done sex before marriage just because they were young but now they would want to do it only after marriage. The reasons why they now want to do after marriage is because they no longer want to be used then dropped or they now feel like doing sex outside marriage is a wrong thing because they are now following God’s word .

The answers I was given by different men were shocking ,let me start with what James said ” I was dating this girl imagine , she was not a virgin but she didn’t want to sleep with me yet she wanted me to give her money . I asked her the other day why she was saying no and she said she was saying no because when she had sex before it was a mistake . Then I asked her how many guys she slept with she said only three. I concluded she thought I was stupid . She wants to correct her mistakes on me when she was giving men before me sex . After all this I went home and decided to leave her .

I then asked another one called George and he said ,” I come across so many girls who try to play the saint game just because they now want to get married but I won’t allow that to happen I am not that gullible . One girl told me that it was a sin to have sex after marriage but at the same time she was not a virgin . I asked her how come she was now seeing it as a sin when she didn’t see it as a sin before . Now I am the one who has to do sex at the honeymoon when other guys were doing it whenever they wanted . Now I have to pay 5k lobola to sleep with her when other guys were getting it for free . I just left her I am not that stupid .

I then realized it is difficult for women to say no to sex if they have done sex before because many men are not going to listen to them or even trust them . Their thinking is ” if she has done it before how do I know if she is not doing it with someone for it is hard for someone to live without sex after experiencing it before . So there is a chance that she will be doing it with someone yet she wants to make me do it in marriage”

From all these answers we can clearly see that it is difficult to say no to sex after one has done it before . Many men won’t accept it and they can even walk away without even thinking twice .

A girl called Yeukai told me about her experiences . She started having sex when she was doing form 3 but when she turned 22 she became a born again women . She stopped her sexual affairs in order to live according to the rules of Christianity but as she tried to date she encountered serious problems . Men were not understanding her or even believing that she had changed . She would say no to sex and they would leave . One guy made her cry the other day when he called her ” a fake virgin ” .

Yeukai changed her strategy and she stopped dating men who were not going to church . She realized they didn’t understand her and they were not going to understand her . She tried a church guy who understood her because at their church they were taught about repentance and about the benefits of having sex after marriage . The guy listened to her because he was following the same religious laws and it worked for them .

Through Yeukai story you can tell only a certain men who live by certain Godly rules can listen when a woman says ” sex after marriage ” . The rest will not accept that. A woman who remains a virgin can escape all these struggles . She will not be suspected of secretly sleeping with someone . There won’t be trust issues and if she insists on having sex after marriage many men can be patient enough to wait . The one who isn’t can go through many challenges and she can face so many heartbreaks as she tries to insist on no sex before marriage .

However all women must know that there are men who will never accept a relationship without sex whether one is a virgin or not . Some men only approach a woman after doing some background check. They come because they know their targeted woman has slept with so and so. The reason why they are coming is because they are saying within themselves ” If she has slept with that guy there is no way she can say no to me ” They want someone who has higher chances of saying yes to their sexual advancements. They don’t want women who say no so they always hunt those that have said yes to someone they know. So when a woman says no they don’t bother staying because they would have hoped she won’t take time to say yes to them .

As evil as the world has become there are men who are ready to listen to a woman who says ” no to sex before marriage ” even though she is not a virgin . These men would have fallen in love with the woman’s character and they would have seen value in her . This means it matters to be someone of value and it matters to have a good character . Without a woman proving to be an asset no men would listen to her when she says ” sex after marriage ” yet she is not a virgin .

Love and Relationships Coach
Brian Matsaira
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