It’s January disease again

Auntie Charity
THE festive season and all its commercialised glory, has come and gone and has left a hole in the banks and pockets denting a lot of relationships as no one wants to take responsibility for failing to plan or wasting and overspending during the festive hype. It is that time of the year when people complain about the January disease as if it was never known that January would come and fees, rentals and all bills would be due.

The bedrooms are the most boring places as the talk is all about money for this and that, the festive romance has died down. One reader accused me of urging them to go all out and spend though I hardly remember that.

All the same I think people already know that they have to save up for the January days. The slightest of things can irritate the next person and give them an excuse to burst out and vent because they are stressed about monetary issues, money and love can hardly be separated where there is no money there is no love, FACT.

As ideal as it sounds, separating love from money is desecrating love on the altar of “unreality” and fantasy. Love that denies a need for money and financial security cannot be really love; we all want to be loved and secure at the same time so the January disease setback is a real issue in many households right now, fortunately for those that are facing financial challenges I will not say I told you so.

There was a time in life when we were free . . . or free-er, when people were not products, and to enjoy them you did not need your wallet. When the first thought that came to mind to show someone how great and how deep and how true your love goes, was not “What should I get them?” but rather “What will I give them?” but now with our current economy we all need to have some food on the table and children have to go to school and unfortunately bills have to be paid.

These days the back to school sign seems to be in your face like never before and each time you see it you are reminded of what went wrong during the festive season or even questioning yourself about spending $4 on a bottle of Castle Lite at the Kalawa show. So the bedroom seems to be the last place one will want to find themselves in, as they will be asked about this and that.

This is the time when sex lives take a knock and too many a time relationships take a nasty strain. In most cases your partner is actually the last person who you want to go to for reprieve and comfort. The holiday season hangover will make that repulsion even more obvious as the last place you want to be in is closed doors with your partner.

Despite the January disease keep the love burning, try and solve problems together calmly and constructively because anger solves nothing. Asking our partners to help find ways to solve the problem is a much more effective approach. Men in particular, love to solve problems. So try approaching issues from the angle of asking for help to solve them. It’s amazing how much more bonded couples can become as a result of the famous January disease. Keep the romance alive and continue the rituals of love which were very much alive in the infancy of your relationship.

These are the rituals that can keep the magic of that courtship alive as the January month passes by. Love, communication and patience till the next pay day can be used as simple and cheap ingredients which can come in handy. You will see how powerful this potion of eternal love can be, and how beautifully that love can flourish and blossom in the month of January. It’s just a matter of taking them, putting them into the mix stirring, and allowing the love brew to develop and mature, before you know it, it will be February the love month and you will be going red with love.

From now until two days before the month ends, breakups are steadily climbing to the number one spot of the most popular time of year. It can seem to be a surprising statistic at first. That number instantly drops on pay day because the money will be rolling in and business will be on a rise for the self employed.

As much as we love smooth waters, an Arab proverb states that smooth waters do not make skilful sailors. In this journey called life, the question is not, “Will storms arise?” Rather, the question is “When will the next storm arise?” and even more important than that question is, “What type of person will I be when the next storm arises?”

Advanced life skills are needed to navigate these sometimes treacherous waters. I do not say this lightly because it’s not easy. Monetary and marital problems are very real and can be overwhelming. Nonetheless, we must remember that our happiness depends on our perspective and not our circumstances.

The January disease may make us feel powerless and defeated, but we can control our outlook and still choose to be happy. Love is many things, it’s painful and beautiful, burdensome and protective.

Most people want it, some people find it, and a few die before experiencing it. Your partner is supposed to be your shoulder to cry on, your chest to decompress on, your ear to listen, and the sage advice to ease your stressed mind. Next time remember to be wise and plan ahead.