adminhe never bothered to dust himself off after each fall, perhaps to ensure a giant broiler he had for the stewpot did not run away.
Corners of a newspaper that was tucked in his coat jacket were now tattered and dirty owing to the numerous falls.
Only God knows how his cellphone, an unsightly commmunication tool which bore the hallmarks of having changed hands numerous times before, did not get lost.
Were it not for an elderly woman who offered to help him carry the chicken home, the bird would not have faced death.
Neighbours accustomed to Norris’ wild singing and lewd dance routines continued with life as if nothing had happened though for strangers, his behaviour was good food for the eyes.
“Amai maindiseka, muchiti handiroorwe, nhasi ndazoroorwa ende hauzomboda,” he sang at the top of his voice while clapping his hands before spicing this up with village acrobatics that sent onlookers roaring with laughter. Don’t take him serious. Arova kahide. Munwi wekirango uyo haana basa,” his acquaintances said as they made their way past him.
“Anobvarurwa nedoro muchinda uyu. Rinomuvhara chimwe chikaindi,” gossipers who had come to glean whatever information they could said before they left.
“I am lucky my husband is not like this. Here is trouble in its rightful colours,” a neighbour said while on her way from church. Elsewhere in the teeming suburb, a boy of about 12 was batting to outsprint a threesome that was on his trail.
The trio, of almost the same age, wanted to tear him to pieces. His crime?
“Arikutamba radio yedu achipedza magetsi akabhadharwa nababa vedu!”
Welcome to Christmas in the ghetto where merrymaking is not confined to women and children.
Primitive rivalry, petty jealousies and outright hatred punctuate most relationships there.
As I commit pen to paper gentle reader, men are busy collecting all sorts of wines and foodstuffs to make their Christmas Day memorable. Others are doing it to show all and sundry that they have arrived.
They want the world to believe they have finally crawled out of poverty.
It is not unsual during this time of the year to walk into any home in the ghetto and find different kinds of liquor in the display cabinet.
People are stocking from expensive whisky to the cheapest highly potent brews like Kirango, Zed and Lawidzani. Goats can be heard bleating from one corner of the populous suburbs to the other awaiting their fate come Christmas Day.
Those who sell chickens on roadsides are also pushing volumes and offering the birds on credit to ensure they make as much profit as possible before people’s disposable incomes dwindle.
Makers and sellers of pirated music videos and radio repairmen are enjoying brisk business as families are fighting hard to get these gadgets in perfect working order before the big day.
Those troubled with love matters are also battling to iron out their differences with their erstwhile lovers to ensure every other preparation they have made works according to plan.
Churches are being filled to the brim with people reciting Christmas Carols and enacting the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
Women are also not sleeping soundly these days in the ghetto busy exchanging notes on baking healthy and tasty cakes for the family.
Christmas is generally a period of merrymaking in the ghetto when children are allowed more time out with their peers and get to taste all kinds of foods associated with cash.
This is the time of the year when family get togethers are held all in the spirit of Christmas.
Those with tight working schedules will also have time to visit their relatives in far aways places. There they will have time to clear certain misconceptions because normally lies do the rounds while to truth is busy putting on his shoes.
Memorable family gatherings are those that always end with fun and not the “I did not think all would end like this” regrets. According to sociologists, the holidays mean lots of time spent with family, which can mean lots of opportunities for stress.
There are so many things people can do to keep they spend quality time together without hussles. Whether your uncle on talking about sex, your mother probes into your love life, or your child picks her teeth at the table, each family gathering is rife with opportunities to lose your cool.
“The irony about spending time with the people you know and love the best is that they also know how to push your buttons the most,” says Kate Hanley, author of The Anywhere, Anytime Chill Guide.
You can either clench your jaw and muddle through until it’s time to go home again, or you can try a few mindfulness techniques that can help you stay open-hearted to the people you love, Hanley says.
“The only way you can change another person’s behaviour is to change the way you react to them — and taking even a few seconds to take a deep breath can help you react more thoughtfully to whatever’s stressing you out.”
Here are four simple remedies — drawn from meditation, yoga and acupressure — Hanley suggests trying at every family gathering you’ll be attending this holiday season.
“Although no one thing can magically transform your family relationships, these tips can help you be more relaxed, less stressed and less likely to get snippy with the people you love.”
Stand by your principles — before you head to the family gathering, decide which family quirks you’re dreading the most.
Then resolve to repeat a calming principle whenever your stress trigger happens.
“Your mantra can be any word or short phrase that’s meaningful to you,” Hanley says.
“It could be something formal, like “Om” or ‘Amen’, or something simple such “peace” or ‘bless his heart.”’
Whatever mantra you choose, taking a few moments to repeat it before you react to whatever is pushing your buttons gives you a chance to collect your thoughts — making you less likely to over-react.
Accentuate the positive — Before you leave for the family gathering (or before you begin getting ready, if you’re hosting), take a few moments to name the parts of the day you’re looking forward to — such as eating Mom’s apple pie, seeing your favourite cousin, or playing with your niece.
Then if anything happens to spike your stress levels, make it a point to focus on the things you like.
“Changing your focus from something upsetting to something enjoyable can snap you out of a downward spiral in mood,” Hanley says.
Practice the art of letting go — We all wish we could “get more Zen” around our families, but we can all use a little help because the emotions associated with family are deep-seated and highly charged.
There is an acupressure point known as Letting Go that facilitates the release of troublesome emotions, deepens breathing, and promotes relaxation.
“Spending a few minutes applying gentle pressure to your Letting Go points can provide a noticeable shift in your mood,” Hanley says.
“You can do it in your car before you go inside or even in the bathroom if you need help during the festivities.”
To find the Letting Go points, feel the tips of your collarbones on either side of the notch of your throat.
Walk your fingers out to where the collarbones end —the Letting Go points are located three finger widths below that end point.
With your arms crossed in front of your torso, press two or three fingertips in to the points on either side of your chest and breathe naturally as you do.
“You don’t need to go for the burn — think steady but gentle pressure,” Hanley advises.
After a minute or two, remove your fingertips slowly and take a couple of breaths before you head back in to the festivities.
Remember your heart — whenever you need help staying calm, take a moment to lay one hand over your heart.
“This simple gesture shifts your focus away from your swirling thoughts and on to your body — where your deepest wisdom resides — and your heart in particular, which helps you react with love instead of frustration,” Hanley says.
“If anyone in your family catches you doing it and looks at you funny, just tell them you have heartburn.”
Online Reporter