Leta��s make party last all night

Rafaella Taylor

We all enjoy a good time with our intimate partner, but often the party doesna��t last long enough. Ita��s not uncommon that men get in touch to ask me why their wife never seems to be in the mood or how to spice things up for her in the bedroom. A positive sex life needs to be a team effort, so this week Ia��m focusing on ways to prolong sexual pleasure a�� for both partners.

Recent research from Australia suggests that the average time most couples have sex is just under four and a half minutes, which many consider an unsatisfying duration. But dona��t get too hung up on the norm a�� in this study, some couples only lasted 33 seconds whereas others lasted almost an hour, proving there is no a�?normala�?. However, under five minutes is surely a disappointment for many people, both men and women alike.

The research also suggested that the average long-term couple become very efficient in the bedroom, knowing how to get the show over quickly, lasting in the region of five to 20 minutes. With children, cooking and laundry to get to, ita��s no wonder long married couples need a tailor-made quickie. But what if you want a steamy all-night celebration once in a while?

British a�?sexperta�? Tracey Cox has some tips for making the pleasure last longer. For both sexes, she suggests better communication in terms of how aroused you are. If a man feels hea��s a bit too close to coming, he should find a way of telling his partner. Women on the other hand should let their man know if theya��re still far from crossing the finish line. Cox even suggests partners could use a number system a�� 1 being unaroused, 9 being almost there a�� if it doesna��t kill the mood.

When partners are worlds apart a�� the woman is at 2 and the man at 8, for instance a�� you need to switch things up.

If hea��s nearly there but shea��s miles away, ita��s time to focus on her pleasure and stop his stimulation entirely. Cox also recommends changing things up in other ways a�� changing positions, locations or types of stimulation a�� to ensure a stead climb towards climax.

In terms of tips specifically for women, Cox advises ladies to take charge. This includes having the woman on top to speed things up or slow things down as they please. But ita��s important that the woman also has time to focus on her pleasure, since women take longer to get there and require greater concentration.

As for men, Cox proposes trying positions that are not your favourite. Given that certain positions turn men on, going for something different might help you slow down. Another top tip is to slow down and not fixate on the orgasm. Enjoy the ride and focus on your partnera��s pleasure if you get over the hill too quickly.

The most important thing is to remember that both partners should come away satisfied. Instead of focusing on issues of premature ejaculation, think about how you can slow down and make sure the woman also enjoys the ride a�� and that normally takes some time. Ensure you communicate effectively to keep the relationship a�� and the nighttime party a�� going strong.