adminIt spells out how a man and a woman would live forever as their vows bind them for life. As we are in the festive season, weddings are part and parcel of this period with couples wanting to share the special day with their friends and relatives.
With a number of Zimbabweans living in the Diaspora especially in South Africa, one has to remember that love has no boundaries.
Intercultural marriages between Zimbabweans and the nationals of their host nation have been a phenomenon that is evident this festive season.
The joining of people brings different characters and cultures and with different cultures, there are often conflicts.
The locality of Bulawayo with South Africa has seen our brothers and sisters finding love in the country and the period will be beset with their weddings.
Intercultural marriages add an extra set of dynamics to relationships. Regardless of how these differing cultures met to love one another, the desire to marry comes with a need to merge two cultures into one.
Merging the cultures brings about obstacles that couples face in trying to find common ground between the two cultures so as to have a cohesive marriage.
Some of the obstacles come from family, friends, personal values, expectations, with family obstacles being paramount as they have a huge say on how the marriage is supposed to be done.
The family voice determines the beat of the drum that dictates how the marriage is supposed to be conducted as differences in values can cause conflict.
What happens when my brother or sister brings a malukazana or mkhwenyana from South Africa, who is from a different cultural, social and educational upbringing with a different set of values?
One common ritual that is shared by Zimbabweans and our neighbours is lobola and the procedures that are associated with it.
Recently, Chronicle witnessed a one-year anniversary celebration between a South African and a Zimbabwean deep in Kezi’s Donkwe Donkwe area in Matabeleland South Province.
The ceremony was held at a village headman’s homestead and coincided with a ritual called ukucolwa komkhwenyana.
A book by renowned culturalist Pathisa Nyathi called Ndebele Rituals gives an account of what is involved in the ritual.
This is a ceremony whereby the father of the bride would be expressing happiness about his daughter’s marriage and telling the families’ ancestors about the marriage.
He would also, in his capacity as the head of the home and chief spiritualist, be asking the ancestors to keep on protecting the daughter even if she has left the family.
The process involves the slaughtering of a goat, ox or cow with which to cola his daughter.
The bile of the animal is used by the father to anoint his daughter on the top part of the head (enkanda), back of the neck, izonga, limb joints, and amalunga.
The goat is slaughtered in a specific manner by the mkhwenyana or someone in his stead.
Speaking after the ceremony the mkhwenyana, Mr David Mafoko, a policeman in the South African Police Service, said this was part of celebrations to mark the couple’s first anniversary.
“Last year, we had a wedding ceremony in Bulawayo. We decided to combine the celebrations of our first anniversary with this ceremony.
“In South Africa, we call it ukuhlatshiselwa umkhwenyana, but here it is called ukucola,” he said.
Mr Mafoko said he met his wife Wendy in South Africa where she works and they decided to marry in Zimbabwe since most of her relatives were in the country.
He said his experience in Zimbabwe was pleasant as he saw the mixture of cultures, which taught him a lot.
“I had a wonderful time here in Kezi. I learnt about different cultures though there was nothing new,” said Mr Mafoko.
His wife, Wendy, who hails from the area but lives in South Africa, could not hide her joy.
“I feel so wonderful and blessed and I would like to encourage other young couples to do the same. They should do the right thing and follow tradition,” she said.
“Today is a special day and I can’t express how I feel but what my husband has done has honoured my family and I. It is every woman’s dream to be honoured this way,” she said.
Ubabaomncane (uncle) of umkhwenyana, Mr Isaac Mafoko, said he was pleased with what he saw in the village as children had respect for their elders, something that was becoming rare in South Africa.
“The cultural behaviour shows that there is good parenting. They have respect for their parents,” he said.
Mr Mafoko said the following of tradition was vital in the maintenance of the marriage and the two showed their commitment to the marriage by following tradition.
The ceremony was held at the homestead of Mr Sam Mlilo in MaNkala village in Donkwe Donkwe.
Villagers gathered in song and dance praising the two for their achievement.
Gogo MaNdlovu gave them words of wisdom saying they should cherish their union and respect each other in the marriage so that they have a long and blessed marriage.
They brought gifts that included chickens, maize and money to bless the two. The gifts were a symbol to show that people were helping establish a new home and blessing their marriage.
Online Reporter