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I am talking about the older generation mothers including grandmothers who did not have much “voice and choice” especially in public, but still were able to raise great women and men. It was always what the father, “baba”, said that was final.
The mothers of yesteryear covered up all wrongs and abuses because they did not want the children or neighbour to know. I always think of the biblical Abigail who showed good judgment and quietly took supplies to King David and his fighting men after Nabal had refused to heed the king’s request.
These women have done so much to sustain families using insight, foresight and emotional intelligence.
Some of them had very limited Western education yet they are/were repositories of values and wisdom.
They were so schooled in informal education that made them to operate efficiently in their environment.
They measure quantity so accurately with their eyes.
Where I count the number of cups or spoons my mother can measure the same quantity with her naked eye. They also have an amazing sense of priorities, high sense of responsibility as well as appreciate the value of hard work.
Do you know that this is the generation of women who seem not to get tired?
I think dear reader you have seen one or two of this kind especially those in the rural areas. Every time you take them to the doctor for medical attention she is urged not to work too hard.
In response, she always says she is not working hard at all, something contrary to what you hear from her fellow villagers.
These were women of prayer who were so resolute in their trust in God such that they have been conduits of blessings to their children and their children’s children.
I recall my grandmother’s consistent prayers for her children and their children each one by name.
The mothers did so much but got very little recognition.
Think of the times that they are blamed for deviant children but never acknowledged for those that have done well. Yet they carried the pain with grace.
They loved the errand child even more with that kind of love that is transformative in nature.
Some of them bore the brunt of poverty while their husbands spent weeks, months or years away in towns working. They held fort and kept the family intact.
It is unfortunate that society failed to appreciate and harness such leadership and management skills for development.
When we look back we wonder how they managed to send their children to school, put food on the plate and clothe them.
Like most of you, I have a story to tell about one such woman that I have the privilege of calling mother.
I always wonder what drives her when we all seem too tired to do anything. It remains a puzzle how she managed to juggle the few dollars of my father’s wage to feed a big family in the true African sense without grumbling or favouritism.
I recall in the 1970s and 1980s staying in Glen Norah it is surprising to note that we could even have dessert — custard and jelly — over the week end.
My nephew who is staying in South Africa asked me when he came home sometime last year. “Mainini,” he said, “gogo vaizviita sei (aunt how did gogo manage)?”
I think this is a question that most of us ask when we consider how we were brought up.
The woman of yesteryear differs from today’s woman in the same way she is different from her mother and the way we differ from our daughters. These differences are inevitable because times change and things change.
I think today’s woman is not the same. She is less tolerant and more outspoken.
As values are passed on to the next generation some are lost in the process either deliberately or not deliberately as people try to relate these to their situation.
I would like to say hats off to the mothers of yesteryear. They did not have the benefit of technologies that we have today that have made our domestic burden lighter and care work better.
Some of them carried burdens without complaining.
They soldiered on.
How did they manage to accomplish so much you may ask?
I believe these mothers understood the real power of a woman and made optimal use of their God-given qualities. Some of these are humility and perseverance.
A woman can do some of the humblest jobs just to support her family. In my view the mothers of yesteryear modelled the servant type of leadership and as a result yielded so much influence on the children.
So many times I have heard people my age and older referring to what their mothers said to them a long time ago. These are the things that they live by.
What great influence a mother has. The Shona people have coined an adage, “Musha mukadzi”, loosely translated to mean the woman is the home in recognition of the stability that a woman brings in the home.
I think you agree with me that their shoes are too big for the woman of today to fit in.
Some of these great women have gone before us while others are still around still mothering their older children and grandchildren some of them infected or orphaned by HIV and Aids.
If we still have these great women around, let us appreciate and love them.
Let us learn as much from them so we can sustain their legacies. They are indeed a rare breed of women. I say again hats off to the mothers of yesteryear.
Online Reporter