adminMonica Cheru-Mpambawashe : Lifestyle Editor
The lyrics of the late Simon Chimbetu song “Barika” warn a child against entering a polygamous union as it is fraught with conflicts and she will have to be a constant visitor at traditional healers’ shrines to survive. This view is buttressed by a Shona proverb that warns a man that polygamy is a long road and it takes one equipped with tyre sandals (manyatera) to traverse it to the bitter end.But looking around, it looks like this view of polygamy has become outdated as some men appear to have found the secret to keeping several wives happy. The magic potion is a five letter word: money. Where the dollars are in plentiful supply, women appear to be perfectly happy to be co-wives and not demand monogamy.
Jailed End Time Message Church leader Robert Gumbura’s polygyny is a case in point. When Gumbura faced rape allegations his home life was put under the microscope of public scrutiny and his 11 wives said they were perfectly happy to be there. And they proved it by trying to get an audience with then Vice President Joice Mujuru to plead for their husband’s release after he was sentenced to 40 years in prison.
Their reason for wanting the man is not in any doubt:
“I resigned from Founders Bank now Intermarket in 1997 when I had my first child. My husband promised greener pastures by doubling my salary each month in addition to taking care of me and the child. I consider my marriage with him as greener pastures. The more children I bear the more money I get. I have five children and want more,” said third wife Teclar in an interview with The Herald in 2013 soon after Gumbura’s arrest.
This is not the only case of socially and economically prominent men having several wives. Munyaradzi Kereke who coincidentally is currently facing private prosecution over rape charges is also in a polygamous marriage with three wives.
At 27 Chloe is younger than her husband’s elder children the oldest of whom is in her 40s. Chloe is the youngest member of a harem of five wives belonging to one of the rich men in Harare. The wives live in one house on the right side of the CBD.
“We are a very private family so we do not flaunt our lives in the public domain. We live our lives and have nothing to prove to anyone,” Chloe explains why the family is not in the public domain despite the husband’s economic and social prominence. There are no Facebook, Instagram or Twitter celebs in the family although a number of them do have social media profiles. Chloe says contrary to the view that polygamy is a place where women are suppressed, the five wives are perfectly content and live together in harmony.
“Our children consider everyone as their mother and there are no boundaries. If I go on a trip say to Dubai, I will buy things that I come across because they are suitable for a family member I will buy it and not consider if they are my own biological child.”
She says childcare and other concerns are limited because all the wives are mothers to all the children. Chloe says she sometimes goes to the school functions of her husband’s grandchildren because their own parents will be tied up or out of the country. She says the women who share a house have their own private apartments but the children call the whole huge mansion home and recognise no boundaries.
But money is not everything. The issue of conjugal rights is often thorny in many polygamous marriages with women becoming bitter over any perceived favouritism on the husband’s part. Gumbura’s wives said that they were married to a bedroom superman:
“If it’s not your turn, but you feel that you want some intimacy with him, you just tell Shewe. He can be intimate with up to seven women in one day,” shared Pamela one of the wives soon after Gumbura’s arrest.
Could this be the differentiating factor between rich men with happy wives and rich men battling to keep it together? Could it also be the explanation as to why some resource poor men seem to be able to attract and keep several wives even if the women must toil to look after themselves, their offspring and the shared spouse? A prominent Harare woman in a polygamous marriage in which she holds a civil certificate but the husband has an acknowledged second wife that he married under customary law who declined to be named said that for most women polygamy has become a practical decision because of men’s infidelity:
“In our tradition men believe that it is their right to have as many women as they like. Whether they are one night stands, small houses or official co-wives makes little difference in the end. Sharing a man is sharing a man.
“So for most women they would rather share a man with resources than spend time and energy fighting with that man and the other women because you do not have food for your children and struggle to get basics like fees. No woman likes polygamy, but we must live with man’s promiscuity and it is better when he can afford it,” she declared.
Online Reporter