adminAnne Ruthenburg Fashion & Beauty
Hello there folks, how are you all this week. I went to a party, a dinner dance and a wedding yipee! So I know I had a better week than many of you kikiki!
So this week I spent many hours looking for outfits for the events I was invited to attend. Heish what a struggle. If I had extra cash, I would have gone to H-Town to get an outfit, because I would have been back the same day. But now I was counting the dollars (you know budget and all). So like I said off to town I went day one starting down town. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but all the shops I went in down town, either had clothing for kids or older women. I did find one factory type shop, that had evening wear, but the clothes I think were made for women who wanted to give off the message “Free sex tonight”. Sho!
I remember the sales lady bringing me two dresses to try that she insisted are perfect for the wedding or the dinner dance. From the minute she brought them I knew they would not work for me, but she insisted. So I tried dress one – hey wena! The dress showed rolls on my body I swear I do not have naturally.
It made me look like I had three stomachs. My boobs looked great and my thighs were better than Kim Kardashian, but that was the only good. Three rolls on the stomach, two rolls on my behind. Who has two bottoms?
And worse of all I couldn’t breathe. And then the sales lady spoke, “Oh you look gorgeous, it suits you so much, wow”.
Seriously people, I don’t know who she was looking at, because the body I saw in the mirror was terrible. Anyway I wriggled out of the dress with the sales ladies help, after the dress got stuck on my shoulders and my wig, (which I had not secured) started slipping off my head. Really people, really!
Anyway dress two was also suspicious, but I thought I would try it anyway. It went on perfectly, thank goodness. But then when it was fully on, it seemed to be missing a bottom half. I asked her (the sales person), where the bottom was of the dress, she said that’s the dress – all of it. Well now people I do not mean to be silly, but the dress started half way down my breasts and ended just below my crutch (vagina). What I’m saying is that it was a belt with a sleeve on one side.
Its crazy because it did look really nice, but the dress started to speak to me saying “Easy sex, no effort needed here”.
Oh my word folks. I could have sworn for a minute I looked like Beyonce. I tell you no lies hey, I had the nice round bottom and the small waist and the full bust kikiki. Even my legs looked like they were stretching from the sky especially when she brought me high heels to wear.
Oh yeah I looked gooooooooood! But then I remembered my partner and with that thought, all excitement left me. I quietly took off the shoes and the dress belt, and left the shop. Yes I decided the devil was in that dress and I was not going to put him on my body.
The next day I ventured to the centre of town (still a little down town). This day was much better, the shops all had dresses that were fashionable and age appropriate. The problem was they were 2sizes larger than my dress size.
I remember seeing the one dress that I just knew would make me look like a million dollars, and it fitted the mannequin perfectly.
But what I didn’t know was that they had pinned the dress at the back. So when they took it off the mannequin, I got a shock of my life.
But again the sales lady there, tried to convince me to try the dress, insisting it might fit because they are small makes kikiki. Okay people if you are a size 34 /36 and someone gives you a dress that is size 40 /42, and insists it could fit you, and you try it. I think maybe one of you has a sight problem and the other a brain problem. Since I have neither problems, I gently told the lady to put the dress back on the naked mannequin and stop embarrassing us all. She was not happy with me – I don’t know why.
I think I stayed in the shop looking at the other dresses, hoping I could get my size. Unfortunately I had another sales lady walking so close behind me that I felt like it was 2008, where we all stood in queue’s for sugar or bread, and we stood so close to each other we could feel the person behind you’s body parts – God forgive us. Well this person was so closed behind me and followed every step I made, I had to ask her to step back several times. Eventually I told her she was making me feel like I am a thief. I do not think she understood, cause she said “Its my job, I am only trying to help you”. Okay? Hey wena!
Day three, I was fed-up if being made to look like a sex worker, a grandmother, a thief and God knows what else. All I wanted was something nice to wear for the events in the weekend.
Then I came up town to where all the latest fashion is. And yes it’s the latest. But the latest for who?
Does anyone out there realise that the world is made up of all age groups of normal people, not just the Superstars or teens and oh yes Gogo’s.
There are some of us in our 30’s who still live here and we love been the age we are, and we want to look it. But it seems the shops or the buyers in the shops don’t know this.
So I went through looking like Beyonce, to Lil ‘Kim, to Selina Gomez, to J’ Lo and then to a business woman.
Not the look I was shopping for. After going into the 6th shop, I found a beautiful pink dress, perfect length, soft material, comfortable fit. I bought it without even thinking – sho one down.
I then remembered my Fashion mentor once saying, “you can never go wrong with an African outfit . . . tadah! That’s it! Why did I not think about that long time ago. So off I went down to the one shop I knew had handmade designs that were stylish and would fit my body shape perfectly. Oh yes is all I can say. I tried one outfit, it fitted one time.
Then she gave me the cost . . . cough, cough, cough. I don’t know where the cough came from. I nearly choked. I was warned by my partner not to go shopping at that shop, but . . . well . . . what was I supposed to do? Did I not spend 3 days trying to find an outfit? Did I not make an effort to look for the cheapest outfits first? And did I buy a shoe to match? No!. Did I spend money at the hairdresser? No! I’m stuck with a blonde wig for the month. Really what is a woman supposed to do, when she has three events to attend and a reputation as a fashionista to keep ha?
I bought the outfit (that fitted me like a glove), it finished all my budgeted dress money and I even borrowed money from my shopping budget to top-up (I will live on vegies for a week to replace the money) kikiki. I did not tell my Mr how much it all cost me; but he guessed and he told me so. Ah people we must keep to the issue here! The issue is, I looked good! That’s all! And I made him look good too! So there! And what a weekend it was….oh yeah!
And yes I am on a forced diet right now, until I make up the amount of money I took from the groceries. Oh well, small price to pay for looking good hey! Kikiki.
That’s it from me folks.
Well that’s it from me. See you all again next week. God bless!
◆ Anastasia can be messaged on 0772 933 845.
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